Tag Archive for: friends

Weekend with Friends by Dru Ann Love

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by Dru Ann Love

Every year me and two of my friends plan a weekend getaway. We’ve been to Boston, Denver, Savannah, and most recently Memphis and Tennessee. Whatever is our destination, I always look to see if I have any author friends in the area and plan a lunch. I like to introduce them to the authors and the books they write. In most cases, they do tend to make a purchase or two.

This past weekend, we did the touristy things, Graceland, the National Civil Rights Museum, and the Peabody Hotel to see the ducks march to the fountain in Memphis and Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, Johnny Cash Museum, and the Musicians Hall of fame. But the most entertaining activity was meeting the authors and one of them was Lois Winston. We picked the Margaritaville restaurant for lunch, but who knew they had live music that just never stopped. It was hard hearing conversations if you weren’t nearby. It was great seeing Lois and my other friends.


When you travel, do you seek out friends to visit?

Friends and Sidekicks

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by Sparkle Abbey

In life and in fiction, sidekicks and friends are important.

In fiction, authors use sidekicks and friends to give insight about the main character. That insight helps us, as readers, understand more about who that characters is and what makes them tick. While you can know quite a lot about a character through their actions, it’s the friend or sidekick who sometimes provides perspective and/or relief, but always adds dimension to the protagonist.

Whether it’s Watson to Holmes or Jeeves to Bertie Wooster or, if you’re a Hallmark Mysteries fan, Dani to Jennifer (Garage Sale Mysteries), we develop our view of the main character through the eyes of these sidekicks and friends.

In our books, we’ve had some fun with unusual sidekicks. Our readers love Diana Knight, the former star of the silver-screen turned avid pet advocate, who is Caro Lamont, our pet therapist’s, best friend. And we constantly hear from readers of the series who can’t get enough of Betty Foxx, our pet boutique owner, Melinda Langston’s feisty senior sidekick. Betty always adds her own view of things to the story!

Both play some role in solving the mysteries in our books, but they also provide insight into the two cousins’ thinking and their motivations. Something that would be much harder without them, and much less fun. At times they also, much like real-life friends, provide support or keep the cousins accountable.

How about you? Do you have any favorite fictional sidekicks or friends, either books or movies? And, if so, we’d love to hear what you especially like about them.

Sparkle Abbey is the pseudonym of mystery authors Mary Lee Woods and Anita Carter. They’ve chosen to use Sparkle Abbey as their pen name on this series because they liked the idea of combining the names of their two rescue pets – Sparkle (ML’s cat) and Abbey (Anita’s dog).

The Dogfather, book #10 in the series, is just out. Here’s a little bit more about the book:

Who knew the world of designer purses could be such a dog-eat-dog business?


When a local, designer handbags store owner is found dead, the police first believe it’s an unfortunate accident. But the evidence doesn’t lie. Before you can say “wiseguy,” Bow Wow Boutique owner, Melinda Langston’s, former fiancé and undercover FBI agent, Grey Donovan, is the prime suspect.


Now the two are working side-by-side to prove Grey’s innocence— nothing personal, just business. Or is it? Suspects are piling up, family secrets are exposed, and no one is who they appear to be, including Mel’s newest employee. Time’s running out. Mel better sniff out the killer before she and Grey end up sleeping with the fishes.

Also, if you’d like to keep up-to-date on Sparkle Abbey news, stop by the website and sign up for their newsletter.

Social Media – Love It? Or Leave It?

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by Sparkle Abbey

It seems lately social media is on fire with current events, opinions, and, of course, cat videos. And baby goats in pajamas, and delicious recipes, and funny memes. And sometimes very personal and life-altering events.

Isn’t it amazing how much we take for granted about that connection. A connection that a few years ago didn’t even exist.

As authors, social media can be dangerous. You go online to check in, or see what your friends are doing, or what’s new in the publishing world and….whoosh! An hour (or two) or writing time just disappeared. True for you? Or is that just us?

So then you decide you must stay offline for a while, because you need to be getting things done. But, easier said than done, right? Pretty soon you’re wondering when was that book event you wanted to go to, and what happened with that situation, and what important things are you missing. And then like a big black hole you’re sucked in again.

Still with all of that, even in times like these, social media connections are important. Maybe especially in times like these. With Hurricane Harvey and now Irma, as well as the wildfires in Montana, California, and the Pacific Northwest. Scary events forcing people to leave their homes and to wonder what they’ll come back to. In these instances, connections via social media have been an important way to check in with each other. To share concerns and offers of help. To let each know that we’re okay. Or not okay.

On a more intimate level, personal losses, health concerns, milestones, and celebrations are also things we often choose to share with our friends on social media sites. Big and small – our disappointments, our fears, and joys. We offer each other encouragement when times are tough. A virtual hug when one is needed. Or a chuckle. Because there are times when we just need a baby goat in pajamas to help us remember to laugh.

At times, we head for that “hive mind” for answers, information, or solutions. “Has anyone seen this error message? Can someone tell me what kind of plant this is?” Or sometimes, we seek opinions. “Which author photo is better? Mac or PC? Has anyone tried this?”

When we think it’s too much and we ought to just opt out, we realize blessing of the many true friends we’ve made via social media. Readers we wouldn’t have had the chance to get to know. Other authors whose opinions we value and respect. Friends. Friends we’ve met and bonded with through this crazy amazing (and sometimes overwhelming) medium.

So, we’d have to say in answer to the “Love It? Or Leave It?” question we posed at the beginning – though we may need a short break from time to time – for the most part we’re loving it!

What do you think? Do you mostly love it? Or often want to leave it? Please share your thoughts…

Sparkle Abbey is actually two people, Mary Lee Woods and Anita Carter, who write the national best-selling Pampered Pets cozy mystery series. They are friends as well as neighbors so they often get together and plot ways to commit murder. (But don’t tell the neighbors.) They love to hear from readers and can be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, their favorite social media sites. Also, if you want to make sure you get updates, sign up for their newsletter via the SparkleAbbey.com website.

What Makes a Friend?

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Friends used to be people you grew up with or worked with or
lived next door to, and of course, they still are. But friends are now also
people who live across the country from you whom you never worked with or went
to school with or even physically met. The internet has changed our lives in
that way, connecting us closely to people we never would have met in the old
days.

Some of my closest friends are people I only have a chance
to see once a year or so at a national conference. Still, we are in touch all
year long, and we give each other all kinds of support and real old-fashioned,
loyal friendship through the internet. Some of my good friends are people I
have never had the chance to meet in the flesh. We’ve done projects together,
set up funds for good causes together, carried each other’s sadness during hard
times, and confided secrets to each other, but our hands have never actually
touched.

I think this is one of the big changes that the internet
brought us—this kind of intimacy with someone 
we may never have the chance to meet physically. Yet is it so strange?
People are marrying people they meet online and building successful marriages
and families with them, so why wouldn’t we build strong, important friendships
that way also.

I’ve been thinking about this because a dear friend (whom I’ve
never physically met) is going through a tough time as her husband’s cancer has
come back and she has her own severe physical health issues. We have been there
for each other through deaths, surgeries, disability, and various cancers. She
has certainly been there for me, and I am trying to be there for her. Given her
situation and mine, we may never actually meet in person, though we have spoken
by phone, as well as Facebook, Twitter, and emails.

I suddenly find myself working on an anthology of poetry for
a great cause with a friend I’ve never met in the flesh, although we laugh
about the many things we have in common and wonder if we’re sisters somehow
separated—couldn’t be twins because I’m much older. Next month, I’m going to
stay with a friend whom I have met in person at a conference after making our
acquaintance by the internet—and keeping in touch the same way. We’ve become
closer and closer friends, even though we see each other once a year or less
often.

Each of these three women are people I count as dear
friends, closer than many people who live near me and whom I see often. They
are heart friends. I have some deep heart friends whom I’ve known for many
decades and see often, and then I have these deep heart friends whom I almost
never see. Neither category of heart friend is closer or more valued than the
other. It’s rare enough to make that kind of connection so I value it wherever I
find it.

So here’s to good, close friends, whether we’ve known them
forever and see them often or we’ve only met online. A sympathetic soul and a
heart connection are what matter when it comes to friendship, after all.

Do you have heart friends whom you’ve never or seldom seen
in the flesh? How do you think the internet is changing friendship?

Linda Rodriguez’s third novel featuring Cherokee detective Skeet
Bannion, Every Hidden Fear, was a
selection of the Las Comadres National Latino Book Club and received a 2014
ArtsKC Fund Inspiration Award. Her second Skeet mystery, Every Broken Trust, was a selection of Las Comadres National Latino
Book Club and a finalist for the Premio Aztlan, took 2nd Place in
the International Latino Book Award, and was selected for Latino Books into
Movies. Her first Skeet novel, Every Last
Secret, won the Malice Domestic Best First Traditional Mystery Novel
Competition, International Latino Book Award Honorable Mention, and was a
Barnes & Noble mystery pick.

Her short story, “The Good Neighbor,” which appeared in Kansas City Noir (Akashic Books), has
been optioned for film. For her books of poetry, Skin Hunger and Heart’s
Migration, Rodriguez received numerous awards and fellowship, including the
Thorpe Menn Award for literary excellence, the Midwest Voices and Visions
Award, the Elvira Cordero Cisneros Award, the 2011 ArtsKC Fund Inspiration
Award, and Ragdale and Macondo fellowships. She is chair of the AWP
Indigenous/Aboriginal American Writers Caucus, immediate past president of the
Borders Crimes chapter of Sisters in Crime, founding board member of Latino
Writers Collective and The Writers Place, and a member of Wordcraft Circle of
Native American Writers and Storytellers, Kansas City Cherokee Community, and
International Thriller Writers. Find her at http://lindarodriguezwrites.blogspot.com.

 

Truth or Typos

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by Bethany Maines

Last night, I had a dream about a “friend” I haven’t seen in
about five years.  My dream
revolved around the fact that my old friend had published a book and she was
showing it to me in (what some might consider) a really snotty way.  Never mind that in real life she never
had any interest in writing and that this scenario is entirely unlikely. It was
a dream, so we’re just going to go with it, ok?  Anyway, I opened the book and saw that the entire preface
was entirely covered in typos. I immediately wanted to hand her the business
cards of every editor I’ve ever met, but my family told me that the book was
published now and that there wasn’t much point and it would only offend her.
Basically, they told me to keep my mouth shut. This annoyed me so much that I
woke myself up.
There was quite a bit of tossing and turning as I tried to
get back to sleep.  Not only was I annoyed about the typos, but thinking of this “friend” annoys me. I
put “friend” in quotes, because I think, at this point, we can safely say that
this particular woman and I are no longer friends.
Like any adult, I have a few friends that got lost along the
way, but, in general, I haven’t gotten rid of many people. For one thing,
making friends is hard, and I’m lazy – I’d really prefer not to go through that
effort again. But also, the friends I do keep around are, what I suppose my
grandmother would call, “true blue.” These girls know where the bodies are
buried, where the bridal shower photos are hidden, and all the words to Summer
Nights from Grease. Also, for reasons too complex to go into, we can do an
amazing rendition of Love Shack from the B-52’s. You don’t just memorize Love
Shack on a whim, so losing a member of the band is difficult.  
Or at least it should have been. But the
last conversation my ex-friend and I had was when she called to announce that she was pregnant
and I said, “Great, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m getting married next
month.” Clearly, we’d drifted apart. Our steadily widening continental divide
was fairly predictable, not entirely her fault, and kind of my choice (I stopped calling her
and she never noticed), so why does it still bug me when she turns up in a
dream? Am I mad at her failure as a friend or mine?  Or am I just annoyed by the typos?
Bethany Maines is
the author of Bulletproof Mascara, Compact With the Devil and Supporting
the Girls, as well as The Dragon Incident, the first short in her new series Tales from the City of Destiny. You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video or catch up with her at www.bethanymaines.com.  

Writing Books and Maintaining Friendships

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by Linda
Rodriguez
I have become a terrible friend. I
spend all my time writing books, taking care of the business of books
(research, tours, conferences, accounting, and correspondence with editors, agents,
publicists, and fans), and promoting my books (blogs, guest blogs, interviews,
signings and readings, Facebook, Twitter, email newsletters, etc.). There’s
little time left over even for my family and my own physical and spiritual needs.
Making time for a friend involves
carving a hunk out of an already over-committed day, and the problem is that I
have a lot of friends. They’re wonderful people with whom I love to spend a
leisurely lunch or afternoon coffee/tea break while engaged in delightful,
intelligent conversation. I’m lucky if I can manage this with one of them every
few months. So I have many friends I only “see” on Facebook. This is one thing
with friends I love who live far away. Facebook is a great way to keep in touch
with them when we know we’ll only see each other once a year at some
conference. It’s quite another kettle of fish with friends who live in the same
town.
I’ve been thinking about this
situation lately—and my thoughts have not been happy ones. I miss my friends,
and I hate responding to an invitation to get together with a list of three possible
dates four months in the future. I worry that the message that sends is not at
all the one I want to send, that they will incorrectly feel I don’t value their
friendships. As for a spontaneous “Mary’s in town for two days, so let’s have
lunch with her and catch up,” I’m almost never in a position to join in.
This situation all came to a head
for me recently. A friend sent me a chain email that talked about a sister who
would never spontaneously go to lunch and had recently died without ever going
to lunch with her sister. (I wonder why they chose to send that email to me?)
Right after that, I received an email from one of my oldest friends to tell me
she’d had surgery and was laid up at home in bed, going stir-crazy. My first
thought was, “I should drive out there and visit with her.” This friend lives
on the other side of town out in the country, entailing an hour-long highway drive
there and and another hour-long highway drive back. That visit would eat up an entire afternoon, so my first
thought was immediately followed by a list of the things I have to do, many of
which have imminent deadlines. “I’ll send her a card and some flowers to wish
her a quick recovery and finish some of these urgent tasks,” was my next
thought. “I’ll visit her later when I have time.” As if I would ever have an
open afternoon to go see her without creating it!
That quick dismissal of my friend’s
situation in order to get back to the always-present workload left me wondering
what was wrong with me? When had I become the kind of person who would begrudge
a few hours to visit a friend at home alone on bed rest? If a wonderful
professional opportunity suddenly presented itself, and I needed to make major
adjustments to my schedule to accommodate it, I knew I would. Why not for an
old, dear friend?
I sat down and made a list of all
the good friends I’ve had to put off for lunch or other meetings. I decided I
had to do something about this. I’m trying to build a whole new career with my
books, and it’s demanding and time-consuming, as it is for any small
businessperson. But I don’t want to ignore my friends. So I made up a schedule
that allows me to meet someone for lunch every week. I’m going to work my
way through my list of friends that way. It means finding some other time to do
some critical tasks. They’re also important and can’t be skipped. It won’t
be easy, at all. But I know the kind of person I am, the kind of person I long
ago decided to be, a person to whom people are more important than things. If
my career takes a little longer to get going, at least I won’t have achieved it
at the cost of becoming someone different from who I truly am.
And yes, dear reader, I’ll be slow
responding to your comments today because I’m spending the afternoon taking
lunch to my dear friend who’s recuperating from surgery, and we’ll be making
bad jokes and laughing hysterically at them.

Friends

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I started to write about different kinds of friends, but then I realized I’d gotten too specific about a certain type of friend who is kind of a downer to be around and realized she just might read this blog post. I would never ever want to hurt her feelings, so I’m going to try again.

What kind of friends do you have?

Over the years I’ve had some interesting varieties. One of my very best friends turned out to be what they call a fair-weather friend. I stuck by her through all sorts of her family crisis and a few of her personal ones, but when something tragic happened in my family she disappeared from my life.

Since that time, I’ve never had another “best friend.” Instead, I’ve got many friends from all over. There are friends that I only see once a year when I got to a Mayhem in the Midlands–dear friends who are not writers but readers. I look forward to spending time with them and sharing at least one meal somewhere in Old Town. They are much younger than I am and I enjoy being with them.

I have dear friends who attend the same church with me, ones who I can count on to listen when I need a friendly ear and I’m there when they need the same.

And how about the friends we never see? Like the friends we’ve made on this blog. It’s been a joy to learn more about each and everyone, to find out how they feel about things with a perspective much different than my own.

When I was much younger, I had an older friend who mentored me with my writing. In fact, I learned more from her about writing than any class I ever took or book that I read. She’s moved too far for me to see her in person anymore, but she’s still going strong nearing 90. And yes, we do email one another.

Many years ago, I worked in the nursery at church with an 80 year old woman who I truly admired. We became great friends and giggled about some of the silliest things while caring for the little ones.

Now I’m at the other end of the scale–being one of the older women–and I have friends of many ages and love and enjoy every one.

I am still careful though, I limit the time I spend with the complainers and the whiners–life is too short for that. But when you spend time with someone who is fun, can laugh at themselves, is loving and enjoys life–you feel so much better yourself.

Not sure there’s a point to this, but it is what I felt like writing about today.

Anyone have any thoughts about their friends?

Marilyn

Getting By with a Little Help from my Friends

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by Susan McBride

Oh, boy, it’s been a very interesting three weeks since The Cougar Club came out. I was tempted at first to write about a few less than pleasant incidents that completely blind-sided me (let’s just say, the word “Cougar” inspires, er, different reactions in different people). But then I remembered my New Year’s resolution to stay focused on the positive and shove the negative into the garbage like wilted spinach. So I’ll babble instead about upbeat stuff, like friendship (which is what The Cougar Club is about after all) and good news.

I used to block off at least three months after a book’s release to do promotion. I would try to hit every book festival, convention, and writer’s conference within flying distance. In between the weekends I was gone, I’d schedule stock signings, school talks, library events, book club discussions, and anything else I could logically work into my schedule. But I was single then, and now I’m married (two years next Wednesday–yeeha!). I hate leaving home. I don’t want to go anywhere that Ed can’t go. So with Cougar, I tried very hard to stick around St. Louis. Luckily, the local TV stations think the word “Cougar” is hot and wanted me on to talk about my book and about the Cougar phenomenon in general (like I’m an expert, accidental Cougar that I am!). It’s been great doing BlogTalkRadio from home and working a virtual book tour from the comfort of my own computer. I only had to drive across town a bit to tape a podcast for LipsticknLaundry, and I’ll head out for stock signings next week, which gives me a chance to say “thank you” to area booksellers who’ve been so great supporting me, no matter what genre I’m writing.

It’s helped a lot, too, dreaming up events where I’m not going solo. I can only take myself babbling about writing and the book biz for so long before I get tired of my own stories (is anyone ever tempted to make things up so they sound more exciting? Just curious!). Two of four scheduled Cougar gigs thankfully included buddies, like the panel at the McClay Road Library in St. Charles with Angie Fox, Bobbi Smith, and Sharon Shinn. The best part of getting a bunch of girls (who get along!) together is having a fun conversation that leads in all kinds of unexpected directions.

This past Wednesday, Sharon and I did a “Girls’ Night Out” event at the St. Louis County Library, and it was a hoot. I’ve known Sharon for four or five years, and we’ve talked about our writing over many lunches and emails. But it was remarkably funny and spontaneous discussing books and the publishing biz in front of an audience and asking each other questions we’d never asked before. For instance, what type of books wouldn’t we ever want to write? For me, it was science fiction or fantasy where I have to totally create my own worlds, or base a story on some myth or legend that so many other people know about (and probably know better than I). For Sharon it was the opposite: writing fiction completely set in real-life. She remarked that she doesn’t want people telling her all the things she got wrong. Ah, good point!

It’s aweseome, too, when things you hadn’t expected to work out actually happen. Growing accustomed to disappointment in the book biz is part of the game, I’d guess, for many of us who have high aspirations for our literary babies and take all the “mights” and “coulds” to heart. So I have to pinch myself this time around, knowing that one arrow hit its mark (no pun intended!). Target selected The Cougar Club as a Bookmarked Breakout Title and they’ve got it stocked on (most) store shelves in a special promotion from Valentine’s Day through April 11. I don’t think my books have ever been in Target stores before (online, yes, in-store, no) so this is a big deal for me. Needless to say, I was giddy when I heard Cougar would be part of this program. So today, not only did my mom go checking our local Target’s shelves (her report: they had two left, and she bought one!), but my mother-in-law went of her own accord sometime after and noted there was only one copy left. Both asked the associates when they’d get more in and were reassured it would be a matter of days. I heart my moms!

Another cool bit of news that came to pass: the Midwest Booksellers Association selected Cougar as a February Midwest Connections Pick. I’ll be attending an author reception during their March meeting in St. Louis, and I can’t wait. Indie bookstores were the first to support me with my mysteries, and I love supporting them back. Besides, there’s nothing better than hanging out with a bunch of booksellers. They might have to pry me out of there with a crowbar before the night is over.

Other high notes for me these past three weeks are more personal. For the kindly chums who calmed me down after my frantic emails when I spotted anti-Cougar rants online, you rock. And thank you, too, for sharing your stories about less-than-stellar experiences of the rabid kind. Not only did they make me feel better, they also made me laugh. Laughing instead of crying is a very good thing, indeed.

For those of you who invited me to guest blog or to inaugurate a wonderful new site (shout out for Books on the House!), you made my day(s)! Aw, gosh, now I’m sounding like a gushing actress accepting her Academy Award. So I’ll stop before you start barfing.

Still, all this positivity has me grinning like a fool, the icky stuff forgotten (or, at least, banished to the trash can with that wilted spinach). There are so many nice people out there that it’s a shame when we let any bad stuff stick in our craw (where is the craw exactly?). So think about ways friends have helped you out lately–and little things definitely count–and don’t let the ickies get you down, okay? Now go out there and have a great weekend!

The Muse was there, So was everyone Else!

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I’ve been working on my next Rocky Bluff P.D. crime novel (still bordering on cozy since I don’t use bad words or have graphic sex scenes) and I’ve been struggling.

I know how it’s going to end, and some of what it’s going to take to get there, but it wasn’t jelling.
Everyone was going to be away on Saturday (we not only have a grown grandson living with us, but my son, wife, granddaughter and her girlfriend live right next door and they all use my computer to access the Internet) and I thought it would be a perfect day to write.

Started out wonderfully. I wrote about two scenes while getting some great ideas for others.

The phone rang. It was my daughter who lives nearby wanting me to order something for her on the Net. (We’re in a lousy area for Internet access. I’ve got a little satellite dish on my roof from my computer company that brings the Internet in.) She came over and I took care of her order. She’s the mom of the new grandchild and we talked awhile about the baby.

She left and I did some more writing. Got another call from a friend who wanted to tell me all about the cruise he went on with his parents, his mom is 70 plus like me, and his big news was she was the first to go on a zip line through the jungle. (Believe me, that’s something I’ll never do.)

He hung up, back to the computer. Another good friend and loyal fan who wanted to sell me tickets to the annual chamber of commerce banquet wanted to stop by. I had a book she loaned me and one to loan her, so I agreed. She came, we visited.

By that time, I’d given up on the writing.

I’d like to say I’m going to get with it tomorrow, but I probably won’t because I got a new mini laptop with wireless access to take with me on trips and I’m going to take it down to my computer place to have them get it set up with the Internet.

I had a friend email me and tell me she’d gotten up at 4 a.m. to start writing. Maybe I’ll do that–or maybe I won’t. Since I’ve been retired it’s awfully nice to stay in bed until I wake up–which is usually about 6:15.

All my notes for the book are stacked beside my computer–I know the muse will get back to me.

Marilyn
http://fictionforyou.com