An Impassioned Kiss-Off

By Kimberly Jayne

To My Darling,

It pains me to tell you that I’ve been plotting your demise. I admit, I had trouble imagining life without you as I reveled in your magnificence. You were sexy, intelligent, and witty once upon a time, as if you jumped right out of a Conroy novel. Indeed, I adored everything about you, even your spelling.

But you were immune to conflict, and every tweak I gave you was for naught. When I finally critiqued you constructively, I wondered if you were really even necessary. Could you still be relevant after all the changes we’d gone through? Or were you simply cluttering my life?

I admit, I had to ask myself, what part did my ego play in keeping you around?

Darling, all words are important. Except yours. Repetitive and passive, you lack the elements of style. You are hyperbole to the succinct snappiness I long for. When others gasped (reading you far better than I), I knew it was time to drop you like a clichéd hot potato. We all make sacrifices, darling. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. So said Mr. Spock once. Besides, you are not tight. And I like tight. Everybody likes tight.

Oh, I could keep you around, try to modify your behavior, juxtapose your more salient points, or even attempt to resurrect you to glory. But my trust in you would be misplaced. I see that now, and I can quit you. When you’re gone, you’ll leave a space. But only one. And I’m determined to make a scene, so get ready.

Farewell, my darling. It’s a dark and stormy night for you. Time for me to cut you and bury you in my garden where no one will find you. With the proper point of view, I’ll transition and move on. As of now, you are dead to me.

Never more,

Your Creator

Author’s note: All good writers must do this thing known as “killing your darlings”—so called because of how hard it is to delete words, sentences, paragraphs, and even entire chapters when you’ve put so much creative energy into them and they seem so perfect, so darling. But killing off what no longer works is a must to maintain the integrity of the story, and sometimes it requires nothing less than an impassioned kiss-off.
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Take My Husband, Please!
By Kimberly Jayne

If you could teach your ex-husband a lesson, would you?

After Sophie files for divorce from Will, his unexpected financial apocalypse brings him back under her roof. Awkward! And if that’s not bad enough, Sophie’s new guy—a sexy and successful entrepreneur—is not keen on dating her without proof that Will is truly out of the picture. Sophie and her best friend concoct a brilliant bet to keep Will “occupied,” but things take a surprise turn for the crazy when Sophie gets roped into sending her ex on five blind dates!

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. You might even want to Take My Husband, Please! Available on Amazon in ebook and paperback.

For more about Kimberly Jayne, please visit www.readkimberly.com.