I Swear…

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by Bethany Maines

The title of today’s blog is not facetious.  I do swear. 
Kind of a lot.
I try not to in public. 
Much like public displays of affection, I find it inelegant to be
assaulted by profanity that I’m not participating in.  I think keeping a lid on my foul mouthed habit
is only polite and try to reserve it for private situations and friends who
have known me long enough to not take offense. 
As a result, a few of my acquaintances have been surprised to find
themselves on the receiving end of a periodic f-bomb.  (Yes, I’m the person who should receive this paperweight
as a gift.) In the past curbing my tongue has not particularly onerous, but
since my child has moved into speaking and comprehending, you know, actual
words, life as a purveyor of profanity has become more difficult.  Now I can’t even swear in my own home?!  Word swaps and humming the Star Spangled
Banner do not really help.  (Son of a
goat monkey, keeping my swearing on the inside is hard!)
In most of my books, I’ve minimized the swearing to a solid “hell”
or “damn” because well, my grandmother likes to read my books.   But recently, I’ve begun working on a story
that moves my swearing habit to the forefront. 
Rather than really “messing some stuff up”, I am straight  “f***ing some s*** up” for a change.  And ooooh, does it feel good.  Ah profanity, how dost though trip lightly
off my off my keyboard and onto the page?  Very lightly indeed. 
Many comments on profanity seem to insist that profanity is
the crutch of mind unable to think of something else to say.  I completely disagree.  To correctly use profanity one must have an
understanding of language that allows you to use the f-word as a verb, a noun,
and an adjective. (Yes, it really can – see examples here). 

Will my completed manuscript stay chock full of profane
goodness?  I don’t know, but I’m sure as f*** interested to find out.
***
Bethany Maines is the author of the Carrie
Mae Mysteries, Wild Waters, Tales
from the City of Destiny and An
Unseen Current.  You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video
or catch up with her on Twitter and Facebook.

Foresight and Hindsight

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Aunt Edie was a hypochondriac.

The wife of my father’s older brother, Aunt Edie earned her reputation in my large, extended family of aunts, uncles, grandparents, first cousins, in-laws and outlaws. No matter the clan-gathering occasion, no one asked her how she was. Because . . .


Because she could bore you to death with her aches and pains in two minutes flat. 


Like a spider, she never let her victim escape in less than half an hour’s recitation about her medications, her insomnia, her indigestion, her aching feet, her hair loss, an undiagnosed medical condition so rare it belonged in medical books.  


A hang nail, so the gossip went, would send her to the hospital in a flash.


In my nuclear family, my parents and five siblings rarely admitted to feeling unwell. Going to the doctor cost money we didn’t have, so we went for required vaccinations and for visits to treat the scary convulsions my youngest brother began having in early infancy—and outgrew by the time he was toddling. (This condition was not one mentioned outside the immediate family. We were not Aunt Edie. We kept stiff upper lips).

When my two children were diagnosed as adolescents with Type I Diabetes, I  fought the instinct to keep the disease a secret. But because I didn’t want my kids to feel ashamed or guilty—or succumb to the temptation to deny their diagnosis—I tried to speak openly with them, friends, and family about their treatment.

Sometimes my stiff upper lip wobbled, but I figured crying was allowed.

My husband grew up in a family not too dissimilar from mine regarding illness and admitting illnesses. So, for the first thirty years of our marriage, he rarely acknowledged even a sniffle. When he was diagnosed with TIAs, we consulted a good neurologist, followed his common sense and adjusted, taking in stride fifteen years later the need for three cardiac stents.

Now, we’re facing the likelihood of a cranial shunt to rebalance the fluid surrounding my husband’s brain. At first, like Aunt Edie, my husband told everyone he met—or so it seemed—about NPH (Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus). Friends and family listened, asked intelligent questions, and offered support. I feel very grateful that we live in an age when opening up about health concerns has become more “normal.”

In
hindsight, I wish I’d had the foresight to benefit from current insights:

 

  • Not everyone is fortunate enough to enjoy good health throughout life.
  • Listen to others whose misfortunate is to be sick for short or long periods.
  • Aunt Edie, we ‘done’ you wrong!

How—about you? Are you a parent who doesn’t want to worry the kids? Do your adult kids let you know after the fact about a serious illness affecting them or their spouse and kids? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Questions Answered

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I admit it. I am the kid who put her homework
off till Sunday night.
Not much has changed. Here it is Sunday night
and I am typing away…
The hardest thing about blogs? What to write.
So this Sunday I asked for help. Thanks to my
wonderful Facebook friends for their input—they had wonderful questions!
Why the 70s?
The 70s because it was a decade when things
changed for women. And when things change for women, everything changes. Also,
I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about the CSI type stuff that makes my head
hurt.
Favorite TV shows of the 70s? Favorites foods
from the 70s?
My favorite show—The Carol Burnett Show. My
favorite food—dill dip. That’s right, dill dip. Don’t judge. My mother had it on the buffet
at her parties and I ADORED it. Here’s the recipe:
1
cup sour cream.
1
cup Hellmanns Mayonnaise.
1
teaspoon seasoning salt.
2
tablespoons minced onion flakes.
2
-3 teaspoons dill weed.
2
tablespoons parsley flakes.
Do you have someone who double checks your writing to make sure you didn’t inadvertently reference something that wasn’t
invented until after the 70s?
Funny you should ask, in Watching the
Detectives, which releases this spring, I shifted history (I own up to it in
the author’s note). Usually I check things myself but I do have an eagle-eyed
editor who keeps me honest.
Where do you find all those funky 1970s ads?
As to those funky 1970s ads, if we’re friends
on Facebook, or if you like my author page, 

you’re treated to (is treated the right word?
Maybe tortured???) pictures of 70s interiors, clothing, advertising and people.
I find those pics on the internet. The truth is, for a television show to hold my interest, it must have a plot. A second truth is that my husband loves watching football, college
basketball, baseball, and even golf. If there are sports on television, I’m
trolling the internet for pictures that make me smile or remember or cringe. And then I share them…

Examples?

Julie Mulhern is the USA Today bestselling author of The Country Club Murders. 

She is a Kansas City native who grew up on a steady diet of Agatha Christie. She spends her spare time whipping up gourmet meals for her family, working out at the gym and finding new ways to keep her house spotlessly clean–and she’s got an active imagination. Truth is–she’s an expert at calling for take-out, she grumbles about walking the dog and the dust bunnies under the bed have grown into dust lions. 

Look for book five in the Country Club Murders in May, 2017.

Book Excerpt–Motivating Yourself to Write

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by Linda Rodriguez
It’s that time at
the beginning of a new year when people make resolutions for
self-improvement. Writers often make resolutions to find time to
write. I posted a blog about that recently here.


Even when this
resolution is successful and the writer creates a workable writing
schedule, such a resolution often ultimately fails because often
writers have more trouble motivating themselves to actually write
during the time they’ve scheduled than in finding or making the time
to write. In fact, one of the reasons we as writers so often find
ourselves over-committed and without dedicated time to write is due
to our procrastination and lack of motivation.

So, as my 2017 New
Year’s gift to all my writer friends out there, here to help with
that problem is an excerpt from my new writing book, Plotting the
Character-Driven Novel, available in ebook and trade paperback
here.



Motivating
Yourself to Write
The
trick is to motivate yourself to actually write in that time slot
you’ve created. Most of us find it easier to disappoint ourselves
than to disappoint other people, so if you can find a buddy or
partner to help keep you accountable, that’s a great way to
overcome that difficulty. Perhaps you two can call, text, or email
each other every writing day with goals before your writing time and
what you accomplished after that time is over. Or a group of writer
friends on Facebook can do this for each other. I know a number of
writers who post their day’s time spent writing or page totals on
Facebook, and get lots of positive feedback from their writer friends
for it—or consolation if they’ve missed their goal.
It’s
also important to set regular rewards for yourself for completing
planned segments of writing tasks. Putting your feet up with a cup of
tea and a special treat. Spending time reading a book you’ve wanted
to read. Buying yourself a book you want. Buying nice pens or blank
notebooks or whatever desk/office gizmo you’ve been wanting or
needing. Buying materials you’ve wanted for a craft project and–as
a later reward–giving yourself time to work on that project. Lunch
with one or more friends. Make a list of small, medium, and large
rewards for fulfilling various writing commitments.
Also,
schedule some creative refill time into each week and month. Take a
walking or library or bookstore or art gallery or museum break every
week, even if it’s only for thirty minutes. Take a nice blank book
(one of your rewards) and a nice pen (another reward) and visit a
lake, park, nature preserve, or riverside, just walking and sitting
and writing with no stated purpose. Describe in writing what you see,
what you feel, what you’re thinking, what you want to write someday
or otherwise do someday.
If
you’re serious about writing, reclaim your power. Would you treat
your car the way you treat yourself? No, you would make sure it had
as much quality fuel as it needed. You would buy new tires for it
when they were needed. You would check its oil and get it regular
tune-ups and other routine maintenance. You would do all of this
because you know these things are important to keep it functioning at
its peak. Show yourself as much consideration as you do your car. No
car will run on empty, and neither do writers.
Make
time to remember how to dream, and make time to bring those dreams
into reality. Visualize your successful life as a writer, and then
plan that change. Exercise your change muscles first by making small,
unimportant, non-threatening changes in private areas. Learn to make
a habit of changing things you are unhappy with—in your job, your
home, your relationships, yourself. Envision the life you want to
lead. Write it down. Check in with it often. Analyze problems. Get
back on the horse when you fall off, and fix the problems that led
you to fumble your plans or work routine. It’s always an ongoing
process. No one’s perfect, but the only way you can truly fail is
if you stop for good.

Linda Rodriguez Bio
Linda Rodriguez’s book, Plotting the
Character-Driven Novel is based on her popular workshop. Every
Family Doubt, her fourth mystery featuring Cherokee campus police
chief, Skeet Bannion, will appear in June, 2017. Her three earlier
Skeet novels—Every Hidden Fear, Every Broken Trust,
and Every Last Secret—and
her books of poetry—Skin Hunger
and Heart’s Migration—have
received critical recognition and awards, such as Malice
Domestic Best First Novel, International Latino Book Award, Latina
Book Club Best Book of 2014, Midwest Voices & Visions, Elvira
Cordero Cisneros Award, Thorpe Menn Award, and Ragdale and Macondo
fellowships. Her short story, “The Good Neighbor,”
published in the anthology, Kansas City Noir, has been
optioned for film.

What Can You Do to Help Out Your Favorite Authors?

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by Sparkle Abbey
A portion of this blog was originally published in April of 2013. 

 It’s the beginning of a new year, and most people are making resolutions or setting goals for 2017. We are definitely in the goal setting camp. Setting goals gives us a clearer picture of what we want for the year, or next 3 years. It drives us forward with focus and keeps us organized, and most importantly, keeps us accountable.

 Something else we do each year is to make a concerted effort to support our fellow authors who have new releases. For us that means spreading the word about their awesome books on social media or posting a review. 


As we were discussing our goals for 2017, we thought this would be a great time to remind us all how we can actively support our favorite authors.

Let them know what you think. 

  • Write the author a quick email or letter telling them how much you liked their story. Writing fiction is itself is a solitary pursuit but ultimately we writers put ourselves and our work out there for the world to see. You can’t imagine how much someone taking the time to comment means to us. 

Share via bookstore sites.

Depending on where you buy your books, you can help readers find your favorite authors books by providing quick feedback.

There are a couple of things you can do for the paperback and/or Kindle versions.

    1. “Like” a good review that you agree with.
    2. If you read the book and enjoyed it, post a short (even 1 or 2 sentences) review on either the paperback or Kindle version about specifically what you liked about the book. (One review goes both places, unlike the tags and ‘like’).

There are a couple of things you can do for the paperback and/or Nook versions.

    1. Click that you found a good review “Helpful.”
    2. And again, if you read the book and liked it, post a short (even 1 or 2 sentences) review on either the paperback or Nook version about specifically what you liked about the book. 

If you’re a member of Indie Bound for independent book stores, add your favorite authors’ books to your “Wish List” or your book lists on the Indie Bound website at http://www.indiebound.org/ 

 You can also link to your friends and tell your friends about the books. 

Spread the news via Social Media

Tell your friends about their book. 

  • Share with friends and family via Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, blogs or word-of-mouth.


A sample Tweet might be (This one is more than 140 characters, but Twitter will shorten the link for you): 

 Great fun read: Raiders of the Lost Bark #book #mystery
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/sparkle-abbey 

 or  www.amazon.com/Raiders-Lost-Bark-Pampered-Mysteries/dp/1611946778

 If you’re currently reading the book, you can always tag it as a #FridayReads.
A sample Facebook post could be something as simple as: Check out my friend Sparkle Abbey’s book, Downton Tabby, at your favorite bookstore or visit their website at www.sparkleabbey.com

 If you’re a member of Goodreads, check out your favorite author’s Author Profile and click on “Become a Fan.” For instance our Author Profile page looks like this: Sparkle Abbey: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5283557.Sparkle_Abbey 

 If you’ve read the book, you can also rate the book and add a review. Much like Amazon, you can also “Like” positive reviews

 Another great help is to visit review sites or book-related blogs and comment if you have the time. For instance, we’ve been featured on our very own Dru’s Musings, The Mystery Gazette, Cozy Chicks, and Seekerville.

 Whether you do one thing or all of the above, showing your support and sharing your love of books with others truly makes a difference.
Are there are ways to support your favorite authors that we didn’t mention? Leave a comment and tell us about it!


Sparkle Abbey is the pseudonym of two mystery authors (Mary Lee Woods and Anita Carter). They are friends and neighbors as well as co-writers of the Pampered Pets Mystery Series. The pen name was created by combining the names of their rescue pets–Sparkle (Mary Lee’s cat) and Abbey (Anita’s dog). If you want to make sure you’re up on all the Sparkle Abbey news, stop by their website and sign up for updates at sparkleabbey.com.

Seeing is not believing by Juliana Aragon Fatula

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Juliana

This photo was taken a few years back in my front yard in my aspen grove by a great friend and photographer, Tracy Harmon. It was later photo shopped by another great friend, Crissy Red. They are both artists and made me look better than I do on an average day.


On an average day, I wear my pajamas all day and rarely comb my hair. I don’t wear fake eyelashes and I didn’t dye my hair red. It’s an illusion. Some of my students and friends believed this photo was real. It’s very easy on the Internet to fabricate photos and stories.



The same day this photo was taken in my aspen grove and later changed from color to black and white for effect. It’s a photo taken by Tracy Harmon and one of my favorites. She captured me at peace in my garden with my favorite drink, chai.


This photo was taken at Yellowstone Lake in Wyoming. I’m wearing my favorite fleece jacket that I purchased in Westcliffe, Colorado several years ago.

My point is this photo could have been taken anywhere. Another illusion. My husband captured this photo and a friend of mine took the photo created a beautiful tile and made a necklace for me. The tile is small and looks like turquoise because of the lake. Another illusion.

In this photo, I’m wearing my glasses and trying to look smart. Another illusion. I’m average intelligence but the glasses make me look more intelligent, like I know what I’m talking about. I don’t know much about anything.


In Pennsylvania on vacation visiting the university, I’m wearing vata shades and red lipstick and my favorite jacket because of the turquoise color. I look happy. I’m smiling, but inside I’m a torrent of worry, sadness, and anger. I’m a basket case, but the illusion of this photo is happiness.

You can’t believe what you see or hear or read anymore. It could be fabricated or altered, or hacked by Russians.

Final photo taken by me, in my kitchen, on my cellphone. I’m not a photographer; I’m a writer; a performer. I’m performing. I look stoic. I look like my Navajo grandmother.

If I wear something else I can look Arab, Muslim, Hawaiian, I’ve been a Wooden Indian, a cowboy,  a Shakespearean Courtesan, a bag lady, a drug addict, a Mexican legend: la Llorona. I am all of these things and none of these things. It’s an illusion of stage and film that makes me look like something I’m not.

Next time you see a photo or story online and you have questions about it’s authenticity, remember this blog and these photos and that in today’s world, nothing is as it seems. And remember as my great friend, Manuel always says, “Every where you go, there you is.”

This is why I write fiction. I love mysteries. I love scheming up plots and clues and secrets and murder. But it’s not real. It’s fiction. Some people will believe anything. Others are never fooled.

I’m reading a great book by a great author, Linda Rodriguez, Plotting the Character Driven Novel. I’m studying all of the books on writing by master writers in order to learn how to be a master writer.

A great mentor, Sandra Cisneros, told me, “Don’t be a good writer. Be a great writer.” And that is what I strive for, greatness, because otherwise why am I wasting my time?

So my mystery is a work in progress and I’ve given myself a deadline, but I know I have the rest of my life to complete this masterpiece. If I keep learning and writing and reading other great writers, I’m confident that one day I’ll be published and go on to write more novels.

I’m a poet, a storyteller, a performance artist, a hard working writer with a mission. To tell the best story I can because I have something important to say and I’m going to tell my story. A story about the Colorado Sisters and the Atlanta Butcher.

I can use all of the encouragement and support I can get. So if you read my post and want to send me advise, tips, techniques, I’m always eager to learn and become the best writer I can.

I’m starting the new year with a new attitude. I’m not going to give up on my novel, even when I get discouraged and feel like a failure. I’m going to look at the progress I’ve made in my 60 years and look forward to creating stories, because stories are important. They tell us about history, culture, language, politics, society, even if it is fiction. There is truth in everything I write, you just have to look for the truth not the facts.

óóóó

Everything That is Not An Elephant

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by J.M. Phillippe

I am notoriously bad at remembering the source of stories, so I can’t remember where I heard this story first. I have been using it, and telling this particular version of it, for as long as I can remember. This is the version I tell:

There was a master sculptor and an apprentice sculptor, and one day the Master set a huge block of marble down in front of the Apprentice.

“Apprentice,” he said, “I want you to carve me an elephant.”

“But Master,” said the Apprentice, “I don’t know how to carve an elephant.”

“It’s simple,” the Master replied. “Simply start by carving away everything that is NOT an elephant.”

The moral, I tell people, just in case they have missed it, is that sometimes the best way to figure out what we are is to start by carving away everything we are not.

(When I looked up the story to try to find the origins, I found many versions, several attributed to Michelangelo about carving “David” by carving away everything that was not “David”. In some ways that’s an even more apt analogy than the version I tell, but I’ll stick with mine because I like elephants and not everyone wants to try to carve out themselves as a Greek version of the perfect man.) 
I break out this story whenever people talk about mistakes. “Feedback, not failure” was a popular motto at one of my old jobs. Every time we find a way toward a goal that doesn’t work, and every time we carve away some part of ourselves that is “not an elephant”, we get closer and closer to success, and to finding who we really are. Mistakes, for better or for worse, shape us.
Most people will be starting the new year with a list of resolutions. In therapy, I prefer to use the word “intention” because it doesn’t have that same “do or fail” feeling to it. While resolutions often feel like a destination, intentions are about the journey. Intentions make room for all that wonderful feedback that will come from finding all the attempts at change that don’t work.
Here is my other grand piece of advice: motivation will fail you. Trust structure. If you want to change your life, reshape your day, and build into that day space for the habits that will lead to change. Start with one habit a week — eating breakfast, going to bed an hour earlier, stretching. Keep in mind that your day is already filled with those things you currently think of as bad habits, so you will have to replace an old habit with a new one if you want to actually change. Sleeping instead of more time on social media. Exercise instead of that extra hour of TV a day. If you want to know what changes you actually will be able to make, start with a list of things you are willing to give up in your current routine. Carve away everything that is not part of the kind of day you want to have. Fill the space with your elephant of choice. And be prepared for finding lots and lots of ways that replacing “bad” habits doesn’t work, until you finally find the way that does work (personalized to you). 
For the record, none of this is as simple as it seems. Change always seems simple to someone who has mastered it, and terrifyingly difficult to the apprentices just starting out. And it seems like every turn of a new year makes apprentices of us all. 
Happy carving everyone!
***
J.M. Phillippe is the author of Perfect Likeness and the short story The Sight. She has lived in the deserts of California, the suburbs of Seattle, and the mad rush of New York City. She works as a family therapist in Brooklyn, New York and spends her free-time decorating her tiny apartment to her cat Oscar Wilde’s liking, drinking cider at her favorite British-style pub, and training to be the next Karate Kid, one wax-on at a time.