Mother’s Day Index?

There are all sorts of mothers in modern literature, from the unbearably overbearing and ambitious Mama Rose in Gypsy to the kind, upstanding, Marmee in Little Women.

This past Mother’s Day weekend, the local paper published an article about the “Mother’s Day Index” a numerical attempt to calculate the monetary value of a mother’s work, based on time preparing meals, doing laundry, day care, budgeting, counseling, and so on. Apparently, this year, a mother is worth $145,235.

I laughed out loud at that number.

My mother has been gone five years now. She’s still very present in my life, especially lately, as I’m finally emptying the storage space that held lasting remnants of her time on earth.

Surrounded by physical evidence of her life, and what she managed to accomplish—not just for our family, but for the wider community as well—I can’t help but believe that the so-called index calculation is way off. It’s contemptibly low, as is the premise that a mother’s worth can be defined in dollars and cents.

I’m not normally prone to quoting the Bible, but Proverbs 31:10 (often referred to as the “woman of valor” verse) describes a woman who embodies strength, virtue, and wisdom as someone who is worth far more than any earthly treasure.

Surrounded as I am these days by so many mementos from my Mother’s life, that is exactly who and what she was.

Besides excelling at all the mundane Mom skills, she was a whiz at sewing and tailoring, writing, party-making, and creating art in many forms. When my Dad was building his professional practice, she was also his first office manager.

And how to value her volunteer roles as a non-profit museum director? Or as a Braille typist who transformed newspaper and magazine articles into tiny raised dots of code on pages for the blind to read?

Or as president of a statewide women’s organization, where she wrote and produced puppet shows (“The Good Fairy’s Crown” and “The Tooth Fairy’s Helpers”) to promote positive health habits for Texas elementary school students, or her art history adult education series, and her personal art-making as well.

Good Fairy 1967, Tooth Fairy Helper (Astronaut), 1969

I celebrated this Mother’s Day, not at a posh restaurant with Mom, but inside a rapidly emptying storage space and in my increasingly storage-box-cluttered home. I’m glad to have found a couple of appreciative charitable causes to take most of the things I can’t find room for. But I still have some paintings stacked in the corner with no wall space left to hang them on, and other precious mementos I’m not ready to let go of.

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

Jonathan Larson‘s lyric from the smash hit musical “Rent” echoes the Bible quote from Proverbs. For those of us lucky enough to have known or been loved by women or men of valor, there’s no way to put a value on that experience, except perhaps with an occasional tug on the heart, a random tear, a wistful smile, and deep, deep gratitude.

May all your celebrations be happy ones.

Gay Yellen is the author of the multi-award-winning Samantha Newman Mystery Series: #The Body Business, #The Body Next Door, and #The Body in the News!