Spamalot (Not the Musical)
I’m thinking about venturing into a career as a stand-up comic.
I already have a enough material for a routine full of laugh-out-loud absurdity, delivered to me in the form of dozens of spam emails that arrive in my inbox every month, specifically, the ones that offer me fame and fortune as a best-selling author. All for a handsome fee, of course.
I could riff on every one of their offers, like the one from “Elena” that promises Category optimization | Review velocity strategy | Long-term discoverability.” Wow, she’s really got her corp-speak language down!
*Chloe” tells me that my readers are in the “wellness and niche communities,” whatever that means. “Lewis,” from the Author Credibility Society, says he’s “creating meaningful conversations in my field.” And “Tim,” from The Philosophical Zurich Club, “an international literary community,” is deeply moved by my writing.
Their real names should be something like A.I. Scam or Chat-Gee P. Tee.
In my new act, I could deliver zingers about the idiots who, after scraping tidbits from my website and other urls where my author info resides, still get it wrong. Yes, “Rachel,” I did once work at a prestigious film organization, but it was not the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.
Next comes one of my favorites so far, from “Samuel, a literary advisor at QuantumCreative.digital.”
Hi Gay,
I came across your Facebook author page and I have to say — a feature in D Magazine, an author interview, a series with a title as sharp as Sorry Knot Sorry — this is an author with genuine credibility and a clear voice. The work you have done to build visibility in the Dallas literary community is evident and impressive.”
I agree that my esteemed colleague, Lois Winston (the actual author of a book with that clever title), has genuine, award-winning credibility. However, I am the one who earned that national literary award for a series of articles I did for D Magazine in Dallas, back when I was its managing editor.
All of this seemingly unceasing, unscrupulous, and pitiful effort to scam unsuspecting authors is big a waste of time, especially my time, when I could be working on my next book instead of having to daily flush this spam down the toilet. Anyone with a working idea of how to eliminate the constant barrage, please let me know. There may even be a free book in it for you.
And, speaking of free books…
This June is the time for the Stiletto Gang Annual Summer Book Bonanza, when lucky readers can win free e-books from our participating authors. First Prize winner receives one book from each of us. Two runners-up will get 3 books by the Stiletto authors of their choosing. Just sign up on our homepage, and in July, you could be a winner!
In the meantime, if you know any of the aforesaid e-scammers personally, please kick ’em un the shins for me.
Thanks!
Read more about this award-winning author at GayYellen.com…
… and remember to sign up for your chance to sample some of our books. Winners announced next month, Happy Reading!




Heart’s Curse
Bethany Maines is the award-winning author of action-adventure and fantasy tales that focus on women who know when to apply lipstick and when to apply a foot to someone’s hind end. She participates in many activities, including swearing, karate, art, and yelling at the news. She can usually be found chasing after her daughter or glued to the computer working on her next novel (or screenplay). You can also catch up with her on 




The Workshop Thing
The Treasury Department
New Website Thing
Birthday Wishes
And now… The Book Thing!

Here comes the time to plant seeds, stroll through the woods, or simply bask in the sun.
calls to mind the encouraging message in Leonard Cohen’s beautiful Anthem which shares the wisdom that—even when life feels like there’s a crack in everything—remember this: it’s how the light gets in.




In my favorite new twist, even a well-respected institutions like the Museum of Natural Science is offering a chance to dedicate a live Madagascar hissing cockroach in honor of your favorite person.

After venting my frustration over a personal relationship, an older and wiser woman of few words, responded, “When you argue with a fool, there are two fools arguing.” She saved me from allowing an untenable situation to ruin my life. It’s been a lesson I’ve returned to time and again.
“Why not resolve to do things that you really secretly want to do,” he asks, like “eat some chocolate every day?” Wise man.
In my world, as long as the doughnut-adjacent sweet remains qualified by its “cake” modifier, it may be okay, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing.
I love doughnuts so much, I lent my addiction to the heroine in my 
What makes the Smith Tower Memorable?
Bethany Maines is the award-winning author of action-adventure and fantasy tales that focus on women who know when to apply lipstick and when to apply a foot to someone’s hind end. She participates in many activities, including swearing, karate, art, and yelling at the news. She can usually be found chasing after her daughter or glued to the computer working on her next novel (or screenplay). You can also catch up with her on