Going Home
By Leslie Wheeler
Three years after our parents died, my sister and I finally sold our childhood home. Giving up a place with so many happy memories was hard, but I believed we had to do it. Houses are meant to be lived in, and neither my sister, nor I, nor our children wanted to move in.
When I drove away, I didn’t know if I’d ever return. But I did in my dreams, shortly after I left. In those dreams, my parents were still alive and living in the house, though even in the dream world, I knew they were dead and shouldn’t be there. I realized that even more than my parents’ deaths, the sale of the house marked the end of my childhood and that made me sad.
Fast forward to the present day, and I revisited the house under happier circumstances when I used it in my mystery novel, Wildcat Academy. In the book, the main character, Kathryn Stinson, was born and raised in Southern California, as I was, but now lives in New England, as I do and have for many years. She returns to California to attend the funeral of a family member and stays at the house where her mother, who has remarried, now lives.
I went on the plane with Kathryn and shared her alarm when turbulence shook the plane, making it seem like “a paper airplane caught in a twister.” Fortunately, we landed safely at the Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), as I had so many times in the past on trips to visit my parents after I’d moved away. Like Kathryn, I was overwhelmed by the maze of interconnecting freeways that had to be navigated to arrive at our destination. But finally, we reached the house in Pasadena, “a rambling, mid-century ranch with shingles and lots of glass windows and doors” on a hill overlooking the Arroyo Seco and the Rose Bowl with the purple-tinged San Gabriel Mountains in the background.
Kathryn and I sat in lounge chairs by the kidney-shaped swimming pool, catching the last rays of the sun. Later, we had dinner with her family on the patio, and went to bed soon afterward, because we were both tired from the trip. But we both woke up at the witching hour of three in the morning. And since neither of us could get back to sleep, we tiptoed down the long, dark hall from the bedroom area to the kitchen with a flashlight to guide us, like thieves in the night.
In the kitchen, we made ourselves mugs of hot milk laced with molasses. This was an old family remedy for sleeplessness, which I still resort to, though without the molasses. And there in the kitchen, to our surprise, Kathryn’s mother joined us and she and her mother had a long overdue heart-to-heart talk. It was the kind of talk I wished I’d had with my own mother but never did. Still, I was glad Kathryn and her mother were able to share their innermost thoughts and feelings.
Kathryn and I stayed at the house for two more days. Most of our time was spent preparing for the funeral, but we still managed to take a walk in the neighborhood up Linda Vista Avenue past the fire station, then the large white building with a red brick roof where I’d gone to elementary school, and finally the small flat-roofed structure that housed the Linda Vista Public Library, which I’d frequented when in school.
When it was time to leave, I felt a twinge of regret, but mostly I was glad for the opportunity to revisit my childhood home and the surrounding area. I lived every moment of the visit intensely as I was writing it, and even now as I’m reading this, I’m smiling.
Readers, have you gone ever back to your childhood home or some another place that was important to you in dreams or fiction? If so, what was it like?
Wildcat Academy
A Berkshire Hilltown Mystery, Book 4
When Boston library curator Kathryn Stinson visits the Berkshires with her mother and other family, she doesn’t expect trouble. But that’s what happens when her stepsister’s teenage son, a student at a private academy, is found dead beneath a zipline—a device he feared. As suspicions swirl around his death, Kathryn is drawn into a tense search for the truth. Was it a tragic accident, or something more sinister? With resistance from the academy and locals alike, she must navigate family dynamics and hidden tensions to uncover secrets that some will do anything to protect.
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An award-winning author of books about American history and biographies, Leslie Wheeler has written two mystery series, the Berkshire Hilltown Mysteries and the Miranda Lewis series. Her mystery short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies, including The Best New England Crime Stories series, published by Crime Spell Books, where she is a co-editor/publisher. Leslie is a member of Mystery Writers of America and Sisters in Crime, serving as Speakers Bureau Coordinator for the New England Chapter of SinC. She divides her time between Cambridge, Massachusetts, and the Berkshires, where she writes in a house overlooking a pond.
Good morning, everyone, I just want to say how thrilled I am to be a guest on the Stiletto Gang today, sharing what it was like to revisit my childhood home in my latest novel. I’d love to hear from you if you’ve had similar experiences revisiting places that have been important to you in your books. A big thanks to Lois Winston and the rest of the gang for hosting me!
We’re happy to have you as a guest today, Leslie.
Interesting how in our dreams and our books we return to our childhood places! Your memories certainly serve you well in your writing, Leslie!
Sometimes gentle and comforting, others romantic, many embarrassing and a few horrific, they haunt our dreams and spur creativity.
Thanks for your reply, Kat. Childhood memories are indeed a good source to tap in our writing. I know from reading your books and stories that you’ve made good use of them. I think what makes them special is that are both unique to each person but also have a universal appeal.
One of the best things about being a writer is our ability to “go home again.” Long memories – fodder for fiction. Great post. Thanks for sharing it with the Gang. Shared!
Thanks for your reply, Judy, it definitely is a benefit of being a writer that you can go home again and enjoy it. Confess I was surprised at how much fun I was having revisiting my childhood home in California.
Writing, even better than dreams, lets us go home again. Love how you have developed the concept in this book
Thanks for your response, Debra, I agree with you that going home through writing is better than doing so in dreams. I tend to dream a lot, and while some of my dreams are nice, others are wild and crazy. With writing, however, I’m more in control of what happens, though my characters have been known to take over the narrative.
Hi, Leslie. I enjoyed reading about the nostalgia trip you took with Kathryn. That resonates with me, because I also revisit my childhood home in my dreams. In fact, I’ve taken that one step further. I live in the house I grew up in! Congrats on your latest book! Sounds like a wonderful read!
Great to hear from you, Saralyn. I miss our talks at Zoom meetings when we were both published by Encircle. Interesting that you now live in your childhood home. I don’t know how I’d feel about that, especially if the people who’d occupied the house before I moved back had made changes. Years ago, when my sister and I sold the house, we met the new owners, and were upset when they said they were going to have the whole building sprayed for insects before they moved in, which we realized might kill some of the beautiful plants that were close to the house.
Leslie,
There’s nothing like revisiting old haunts for ramping up nostalgia, which makes for a strong connection to the books we write. Your Berkshire series sounds interesting. What a beautiful place to live! Thanks for visiting the Gang today.
Thanks for writing, Gay. The Berkshires is indeed a beautiful place to live. I love the rolling hills and forests, and the streams and lakes, with the opportunity to see wildlife, and enjoy the peace and quiet that makes it a good place to write. If I want to describe something in my writing, all I have to do is look out the window and the words come to me.
Such a wonderful poignant story! Yes, I’ve visited my dream home that move away from eight years ago. We sold it to our best friend’s kids who have taken excellent care of it. It was lovely to realize they’d made it their own and I, in turn, had moved on. Your series sounds fabulous! Welcome!
This is so touching. My parents are still in my childhood home, the one we moved into when I was about five. I don’t get back much because they’re in Australia and I’m in Brittany. Sooo far.
I did something similar with the first book of my Joe Erickson Mystery series. My main character, a Chicago detective, returns to his Iowa hometown to finalize his father’s estate. While there, he is pulled into a local murder investigation by his former lover, who works as a criminal profiler. It was enjoyable writing about my old haunts.
Leslie, this is so beautifully written and heartfelt. I love how you wove memory and fiction together letting Kathryn have the late-night kitchen conversation you wish you’d had yourself was especially moving. What a wonderful way to revisit your childhood home and honor it.