People Are a Lot More
“People are a lot more than their political inclination.”
I read that statement today in a Washington Post article about an older man who found happiness in a wildly diverse group of coffee drinkers at a local café. People came there every day to sit and talk about everything, including politics, bringing pointedly different views. But they were respectful of each other, and they cared about each other.
I belong to a group sort of like that. We worked as policewomen in the same department…umm…decades ago. We’ve discussed enough politics to know we have differing perspectives. Our backgrounds are different. Our lives have taken us down different paths, but we find a way to meet about once a month, and we’re important to each other.
To keep the peace….
The Meaning of Life
One of
the first songs I remember learning as a child was Que Sera Sera – What Will Be
Will Be. I always accepted it as the explanation for life. Today, three
things made me reflect upon its application to what some may term “the long
run.”
received word a friend died last night. She was ninety-eight. The person who
called hastened to note my friend lived a good life. That’s true, but I doubt
in retrospect my friend would have fully agreed. She took pride in the
education she received from Northwestern, in a time when women often didn’t
have an opportunity to receive a college degree; the job she landed out of
school; her marriage to the love of her life; her children and her
grandchildren; and the volunteer activities that let her use her mind to
advance the causes she loved. But, there
also was dismay that marriage meant the end of her professional career;
volunteer activities filled her time but weren’t considered as important as
moves for her husband’s profession nor could they conflict with the ideology of
his company; unable to do anything, she watched her oldest daughter fight, win,
fight and lose a battle with cancer; and for the past two years, a series of
strokes robbed her of her ability to read and then the detailed brain function
she cherished.
Facebook today, I came across an article about scientist David Goodall, who
recently celebrated his hundred and fourth birthday by blowing out his candles
and expressing his special birthday wish is to die. Believing he has lived long
enough, Goodall plans to effectuate his wish in Switzerland, where euthanasia
is permitted, in May. Some question why a man of his stature who devoted his
life to science started a GoFundMe campaign to pay for his and a helper’s
travel expenses, but he notes he isn’t happy watching his body deteriorate and
would be glad to die with dignity in his native Australia, but the laws don’t
permit it. He acknowledges that at his age, even without euthanasia, his time
is limited, but he doesn’t want to continue going downhill becoming more
dependent on others while allowing nature to take its course.
article discussing choosing between self-publishing and traditional publishing
surprisingly made me reflect on this topic, too. The article, written by a
writer who I am familiar with, noted that she began her career traditionally
published, but that nearing age eighty and with a following of her works, she’s
opted for self-publishing because of the timetables involved with dealing with
agents, editors, and publishing house schedules. She made me think of the
cartoon/joke that periodically goes around about the golden years when she
observed she can no longer get around easily, do radio interviews because of
her hearing loss, or spend years waiting for her books to become final
products.
because I am significantly younger, I understand the frustration delays,
infirmities, and losses generate, but I can’t help but wonder why? What purpose, perhaps unknown to them or the
rest of us, exists for their continued existence? I believe life is cyclic with
moments of joy and of sorrow, with good and with bad, but does its meaning
change at different points over the long run? Is What Will Be Will Be too simplistic? I don’t know. But as I observe
different people’s reactions, I wonder.
Do you?
Untitled Post
Clicking Our Heels – Redoing Life – Maybe
At some
point in life, one looks back and contemplates a re-do. Stiletto Gang members
are no different, but the question is whether given the chance to re-do
anything, would they?
Paula
Benson – Maybe I would have gone to the Bristol Speedway to watch a race with
my father, uncles and cousins.
Maybe. But, I don’t think so.
Cathy
Perkins – Not work 9-gazillion hours at the day job and spend more time writing
or enjoying one of my other creative outlets.
Dru Ann
Love –Would have gone to graduate school.
A.B.
Plum – Start Writing for publication earlier.
Juliana
Aragon Fatula – Go to college when I was twenty not fifty. I would have a Ph.D
in
literature instead of a Ph.D in life.
Linda
Rodriguez – I’d try to worry less and have faith that things would eventually
work out, as I’ve found they usually do.
I say “try” because this is a lesson I’m still learning.
Bethany
Maines – Community college. Not the actual going, but the rate at which I did
it. I took far too long to figure out where I was going and what I was doing.
Kay
Kendall – I would quiz my parents and grandparents about their lives in an
in-depth way, making notes so I would never forget. There are many things I want to ask them so
much more about, now that it is way too late.
Sparkle
Abbey:
Anita – I can’t think of anything I’d like to
redo. Maybe the last family road trip. 6 people, jammed inside a Grand Caravan
for 20 days. We saw Mt. Rushmore, Custer Park, Yellowstone Park, the Redwoods,
Napa Valley, San Francisco, LA, Laguna Beach, Hoover Dam and Las Vegas … maybe
it wasn’t as great as I think it was.
Mary Lee – I can’t say that I have many
things I’d re-do. Even some of the bad choices
eventually led to good things. However,
if I could re-do anything in my life, I think it would be my education. At the
time, I simply didn’t realize all the options out there…
J.M.
Phillippe – I would have stuck with dance when I was a kid, and made it more a
part of my life. I have found myself at various times in my life drifting to
and from it – and I always wish I could make more room for it in my life.
Debra
H. Goldstein – Given in to being a writer and comedienne vs. a lawyer and
judge.
Looking for Fun
Looking for Fun by Debra H. Goldstein
Sometimes, I don’t feel
like writing a blog. Other times, I have
ideas galore, but not enough time to address them. The reality, according to John Lennon is “life
is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” This has been that
kind of week. In fact, it has been that kind of month.
good would it do? And, why would I want to?
Life isn’t perfect (ask my air conditioner), but it certainly beats the
alternative. Besides, sometimes a “bad” thing turns out to be the best thing that
could have happened. Plans falling through may mean extra time to do something
on my to-do list or to simply have fun.
Fun is something I like. I
tend to be super serious, but when there is laughter and fun, no matter what
goes wrong, the world is right. Occasionally, I forget to have fun. I become
too overwhelmed with obligations. Responsibilities
become burdensome. Eventually, my to-do list is accomplished, but when things
aren’t fun, every task takes longer. Little roadblocks, which usually never
bother me, are irksome. When I reach that point, I need to step away, take
stock, and find my sense of fun. It may
be a deep reach, but it always is there. Thank goodness.
What about you? How do you
find your way back to an even keel?
What I Want from Life
bit of thought. Don’t worry, I’m not thinking about death or aging, but simply
being selfish about my own desires. The topic doesn’t require me to delve into
the meaning of life, only what I want from it.
brainstorming a response, I immediately blurted out: “I want my family to be
happy, healthy, and prosperous.” My
second answer, after listening to our present political catfights and catching a
re-run of Miss Congeniality was “World Peace.” Both were nice comments, but
neither addressed the specificity of the question.
equation – what do I want?
between my legal career and now following my passion to write, but then again,
I don’t write every day and I haven’t made the New York Times bestseller list. Admittedly, there is room for this goal to be
expanded upon, but I’m pretty content knowing two novels, Should Have
Played Poker and Maze in Blue, as well as eighteen short stories have been published
in the past few years, and that the challenge of making the bigtime is just
over the horizon. After all, recently, the mail brought a check for my first
sale to Alfred Hitchcock Murder Magazine.
There could always be more time for reading, but according to my
Goodreads Challenge tally, I’m ahead of my projected reading schedule. This
week alone, I’ve already knocked out Dark Money, the new Harry Potter
book/script, and my backlog of periodicals.
curve, but there are so many gifted writers out there. What my friend, TK Thorne, can do with a
phrase or an image constantly stops me in my tracks and shows me how elementary
my skills are. Yet, whether it be from
TK, Linda Rodriguez, or so many others who have been generous with their time,
advice, and patience, I can’t even verbalize how much I’ve gained as a writer
and a person. So, yes, I envy their talents, but appreciate them too much for
there to be more than a mild form of jealousy.
way.
in that department, too. I hope all know, even when I’m oblivious or
overbooked, they are my lifelines, support, and cheerleaders — and that it is
reciprocal (even if you have to make me stop long enough to sense a need).
except maybe
developing a better sense of style. I noticed in this recent
picture that the legs of my pants might be a bit short.
Cranking (Toddler) Tunes
I’m the most sad to see change is the amount of music I listen to. Baby nap times seem to encompass the whole
dang day! I used to have iTunes running almost constantly. Not that it wasn’t a battle with my husband
over what to listen to. No, I don’t want
more Phish. And there’s only so much
hip-hop and Grateful Dead I can listen to before going insane. (Yes, my husband
is a hippy with a secret love of 90’s R&B.
He compensates for this deficiency by being ruggedly handsome and having
the miraculous ability to open jars and kill countless spiders.)
specific bands, where my husband I deviate in our musical tastes is an actual
love of music. He loves music. Phish, Dave Matthews, the Allman Brothers,
and the Grateful Dead all have one thing common. OK, take a toke and make that two things –
they’re jam bands. I hate jam
bands. It’s just giant swaths of useless
music that take away from the important thing – the lyrics. I love the words. (Surprised? Probably not.) For me, music is like poetry with half the
pretentiousness and way more shake-your-bootiliciousness. And I like to play it ALL the time
particularly when I’m working. I find
that music helps put me in the zone for writing and for design.
become a lot more difficult to crank the tunes through the work day. I was excited when the baby hit two and it
became easier to send her to daycare/babysitting and there’s only one nap to
contend with, but it has also meant that she’s tons more verbal. With a toddler in the house, I don’t feel quite so comfortable
cranking up a few of the songs I love, like Don’t Shoot Me Santa by The Killers. I am
perfectly prepared to explain that boys have a penis and some people are in
wheelchairs and sometimes boys marry boys and girls marry girls. But… I am not at all prepared to explain why
Santa is shooting that guy in the song. I’m
pretty sure I see headphones in my future.
Mae Mysteries, Wild Waters, Tales
from the City of Destiny and An
Unseen Current. You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video
or catch up with her on Twitter and Facebook.
When Life Happens by Debra H. Goldstein
list? That, as John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you are busy
making other plans.”
look at the stacks on my desk, credenza, and the floors of my office and
bedroom. They annoy me, but at the same time, I don’t care. I’m sure there will
come a point when I have to stop and clean things up, but what I realize
looking at my clutter is that it represents flexibility and being alive.
board meetings attended last week that I haven’t filed away yet. That’s okay,
it was more important that I showed up at the meetings, contributed, and then
came home to work on responses for blog interviews scheduled for next month’s
release of Should Have Played Poker: a
Carrie Martin and the Mah Jongg Players Mystery.
numbers or online confirmations, but haven’t thrown in the keep these bills
envelope. That’s okay, it was important that I wrote checks for the mortgage,
utilities, internet, and the plane tickets for the family wedding that’s coming
up in a few months.
for gifts I need to buy for upcoming showers and weddings or birthday cards
from those who kindly took me to different birthday dinners and lunches this
month. That’s okay, I wish we can’t accept every invitation, I want to
acknowledge these lift cycle events. I am happy to report that the thank you notes
were written for the birthday festivities as they occurred but some of the
cards are so hilarious that I want to read them again. It wasn’t a special
birthday, but celebrating for an entire month has been fun.
stories I submitted this month. Submission guidelines for other calls I’d like
to address are near some pads on the left. That’s okay, I didn’t think I could
come up with an idea for the stories, but things worked out before the
deadlines passed and the others still have promise so long as I keep them in my
sight lines.
I went to California last weekend, but getting the two stories, PR, and
spending time with family and friends took precedent. That’s okay, it’s written.
It’s going to be set up a day early. And best of all, it reflects the most
important thing any of us can embrace: Life is what happens when we go with it
rather than trying to force square pegs into round holes.
not, here’s hoping you’ve been able to let go of enough to survive and come out
on the other end.
Hashtag This
by Bethany Maines
#amwriting. An innocuous hashtag for tracking other writers, but sometimes… it
can be just a little bit smug. And given the nature of writers I was wondering
if we could have a more honest hashtag? #amsurfingtheweb #amwatchingcatvideos
#amdoinganythingbutwriting
Right now I’m doing anything but working on the outline of
Carrie Mae Book 4. Because, no, I don’t
know how they ended up in a brawl to the death among the Amsterdam tulips. Can’t I just wave my magic writer wand, do a
little jazz hands, and write by the seat of my pants? #pantsingit The problem with pantsing it, is that I am no
Louis L’Amour. Mr. L’Amour apparently
did not believe in rewrites or edits; he believed that rewrites killed the
freshness of the story. Or he believed
that we would buy whatever he wrote. #hewasright When I attempt to pants it, my stories go
sideways and I end up writing entire chapters that sound like vacation
brochures. #needavacation No story was ever moved forward by a character
actually stopping to smell the roses, or in my case, tulips. Unless, of course, he got wacked on the head
while bending to smell one. #deathbytulip #nameformynextnovel #dontstealit
#mine
what all the questions are. Or in my case, procrastinating for all I’m worth.
#procrastination! I could say that I’m mulling it over or letting it marinate,
but let’s face it, at no point in my life have I ever mulled something over
while doing the dishes. The only thing I
think while doing the dishes is that dishes suck and we all need to stop eating
so there will be less dishes. #seriously
It’s productivity through hatred of the other available task.
#atleastsomethinggotdone Eventually, I’ll have to return to the outline –
figure out the who, why, where and how. Eventually,
I will have to do the research and plug the plot holes. Eventually, I will actually have to write. #amwriting
Sigh. Can’t I be #amvacuuming instead?
Mae Mysteries, Tales from the City of
Destiny and the forthcoming An Unseen
Current. You can also view the Carrie Mae youtube video
or catch up with her on Twitter and Facebook.
Writing, Promotion, Life
All of the above battle for my time.
I’m in the process of writing my next Rocky Bluff P.D. mystery. I try to work on it every day–but things like laundry, making arrangements for a trip to promote a book, coming up with promotions, planning a blog tour, etc.
While writing a police procedural there are times that I have to do a bit of research. I’m fortunate to belong to PSWA and it’s easy to get on the listserve and ask any question about police procedure that I need to find out. The answers will flood in from many law enforcement professionals.
Though not an outliner, I do have a good idea of where I’m going with the mystery–though at this point, I only have a vague idea of the outcome. Because this will be #11 in this series, I have continuing threads about the characters that I need to address.
As thoughts come to me, I always jot them down, because if I don’t I might forget.
I was overdue with my Deputy Tempe Crabtree mystery. I don’t really have due date with the publisher, but I was so late sending in a manuscript, I got an email asking if I had one. I’ve turned it in and it’s been assigned to an editor with a possible launch date at the end of September.
And of course this means I must get busy with planning the promotion.
And then there’s life.
My husband does like to spend some time with me (and I with him) so we do take off and go to the movies and out to eat. He usually comes along with me on any promotion trips and we turn them into mini-vacations.
We have a huge family–and many live nearby, one daughter, a son, five adult grandids, and 7 great-grands.We see them a lot and enjoy spending time with all of them. One daughter lives in Southern CA and two of her kids live with her. We try to get down there when possible.
And our eldest daughter is farther away also, Southern CA, but about a 6 hour drive. Her two adult kids are there with their families–and five more great-grands. And yes, we go there when we can.
There you have it–a busy life for this old lady, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Marilyn aka F. M. Meredith
Life is Too Short to Eat Boring Rice
by Rachel Brady
I saw a billboard with this phrase today and thought to myself, “Yes. Life is too short to eat boring rice.” It is too short to do a lot of things.
Life is too short for me to wear clothes that don’t fit right just because I already own them. So what? I’ll give them away and then somebody else can own them. Problem solved.
It’s too short for painful shoes. Although, I will wear them to dress up.
Because life is also too short not to dress up sometimes.
Life is too short for me to bother with that little, almost-gone, flat and skinny yet not quite useless piece of soap that is left right before a bar disintegrates. I’m finished with that piece of soap.
Life’s too short to gut out reading a book that isn’t amazing. There are more incredible books in the world than I can read in my lifetime. I’m gonna stick with those.
Life is too short not to wear perfume even when it’s just me and the dishwasher.
Life is too short to say no to something today because of something that might happen tomorrow. That something also might not happen tomorrow. Where will that leave me? Wishing I’d done something different yesterday, that’s where.
Life’s too short to worry about what people think about me. Who am I to think they are thinking anything about me? That’s kind of narcissistic. Instead I’ll assume nobody is thinking anything about me. Then I can do whatever I want. I’ll have way more fun.
Life is too short to eat high-calorie but utterly boring food, like stale cookies from the supermarket. Yes to 400 calorie divine food, like the homemade, glorious brownies that my friend Wally brings to the office pot-luck lunches. No to 400 calorie boring food, like store bought birthday cake with waxy icing.
Unless I feel like eating it that day. Life is too short not to do what I feel like sometimes.
Life is too short for complaining. Fix or accept.
Too short for blame.
Also for grudges.
Too short for agonizing over decisions. I recently had to buy a clock. I went to Target and they didn’t have quite what I wanted. On the spot, I decided that I didn’t need the best clock on the planet. The best one at Target would suffice. So I picked one. The world didn’t end.
Life’s too short for second guessing the past. I made the best choices I could at the time, with the information I had at the time. Sure, I know more now. But, I didn’t then. Short of time travel, there’s no solution I see here other than moving forward. Life is One Way.
Life is too short to play my favorite music at a reasonable volume.
It’s too short to worry about grass stains.
And that billboard was right. It’s way to short to eat boring rice.