Would You Take This Advice?

As the calendar turns, it seems like we’re bombarded with suggestions about how to improve our happiness and well-being in the new year. Much of this purported wisdom comes from professional gurus, some from ordinary folks, and some—heaven help us—from chatbots. A meme I recently came across suggested that we had to invent artificial intelligence because we are running out of real intelligence. But I digress…

The New York Times columnist, Melissa Kirsch, asked her readers to share the best advice they got in the past year. A few ideas were practical, such as: “Don’t think harder, breathe deeper.” Or, “Baby steps still move us forward.” Or, “Always have a bottle of champagne chilling in the fridge.”

And others seemed less helpful, such as “You don’t need to tell everyone everything that goes into making the chicken soup.”

I’m guessing that one was from a chatbot.

If you take advice from TEDTalk gurus or best-seller book lists, you’ve probably come across the podcaster Mel Robbins and her blockbuster “Let Them” theory. At its core is this message: Don’t waste your energy worrying about people and situations beyond your control. Let them be stupid, mean, or just plain wrong, and get on with your life.

I received similar advice years ago. After venting my frustration over a personal relationship, an older and wiser woman of few words, responded, “When you argue with a fool, there are two fools arguing.” She saved me from allowing an untenable situation to ruin my life. It’s been a lesson I’ve returned to time and again.

When our family doctor retired, we thought we’d lost his gentle, humorous counsel forever. But he recently reappeared as a columnist on The Buzz, a local publication that’s often fun to read. On New Year’s Day, he cited a university’s report showing that less than ten percent of resolutions are kept, and almost half are abandoned before the end of the month.

The good doctor’s believes it would help if we promised ourselves to do something less boring than lose weight or exercise more. “Why not resolve to do things that you really secretly want to do,” he asks, like “eat some chocolate every day?” Wise man.

Still, the urge is strong at New Year’s to look inward for ways to improve ourselves. My own resolutions tend to revolve around my writing career, which puts me in mind of the main character in my Samantha Newman Mystery Series.

Samantha is too headstrong to worry about any personal shortcomings, even though they often lead her into dangerous territory. When she sees an injustice, she dives headfirst into fixing the situation. So far, she’s survived relatively unscathed. But will she make it through another dicey situation?

We’ll see. In the meantime, let’s all cut ourselves a little slack.

Have fun, be well, and no matter what… have a great year!

Gay Yellen began her award-winning writing career in magazine journalism. She also was the contributing editor for the international thriller, Five Minutes to Midnight (Delacorte), which debuted as a New York Times “Notable.” Her Samantha Newman Mystery Series is packed with suspense and laced with touches of romance, heart, and humor. Find it on Amazon or through your favorite bookseller.