Everybody Plays the Fool Sometimes

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by Susan McBride

Yes, I know I’m one day late for April Fool’s (aka the unofficial birthday of Blue the Kitty); but I think the topic of fools is so timeless it needs no official date. I’m not talking about pranksters or the fools who nearly run you off the road while drinking Starbucks and yakking on cellphones. Nor am I alluding to the political mouthpieces who never seem to give their pieholes a rest. Nope. Instead, I want to discuss a trait that I envy more and more the older I get: being completely unafraid to act foolish in front of others, something I don’t think most humans master until we’re too cranky and tired to care.

For a long time, I lived under the false impression that perfectionism was attainable and if you achieved it–or came anywhere close–everyone would find you irresistible and would want to be fast friends. Although when you’re born a smart ass (as I was), it’s very difficult to curb your tongue when there’s such an itch to add a punchline to everything. Shockingly, not everyone appreciates the fine art of wordplay, so I often found myself at odds with siblings and friends who didn’t “get” my sense of humor. What’s an impressionable girl to do? I tried my darnedest to refrain from saying things that might be miscontrued, no matter how much it pained me.

That training came in very handy in my sorority days and was invaluable once I became a real-live author at 34 (egads, eleven years ago next month!). When I was a newbie, fresh off the I-can’t-believe-I’m-finally-published bus, I tried super-hard to behave. I was as nice as I could possibly be to everyone I met. But after a few years and a couple eye-opening incidents where something I said or did was taken the wrong way, I began to realize that, despite my best efforts, I was never going to: (a) say all the right things all the time; and (b) be seen as funny and delightful by all of those watching me. It was about then that I said, “To hell with this.” I had to stop being afraid of every word that came out of my mouth. I wanted to live every moment fully and enjoy everything I did, even if there was a person or two (or three hundred) out there who didn’t like my tone of voice or felt offended by my word choice.

I do believe that turning point came after I hit forty, which seems to be a magical line that, once crossed, gives you the freedom to be exactly who you want to be. I stopped worrying so much about making a fool of myself, and it felt like finally breaking out of a tightly laced corset. If life is high school then I’d rather have fun being the goofy class clown than the perfectly presentable prom queen. I’m not talking about disposing of manners, merely not taking things so seriously. One of the best parts about writing is feeling like I have no boundaries. I love concocting characters who don’t always behave the way they probably should. I adore when they say things out of turn that crack me up. That’s how I want to live my life and maybe why I have a plaque above my file cabinet that says “Well-behaved women rarely make history.”

I’d like to propose a year-round celebration of the good kind of fools who aren’t afraid to be themselves, even if that means looking stupid and screwing up once in awhile. Hey, as the song goes, “everybody plays the fool sometime.” I think I’ll do something foolish today, just so I never get out of practice.

Give Me Independence!

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Kris Neri’s published books include HIGH CRIMES ON THE MAGICAL PLANE, a Lefty Award-nominee, NEVER SAY DIE, THE ROSE IN THE SNOW, and the Tracy Eaton mysteries. With her husband, she owns The Well Red Coyote bookstore in Sedona, Arizona.
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By Kris Neri

When the Stiletto Gang offered me several guest blog dates, I knew I had to choose April 1st. You see, I write the Agatha, Anthony, Macavity Award-nominated mysteries featuring Tracy Eaton — mystery writer, detective wannabe, and the offspring of eccentric Hollywood stars — REVENGE OF THE GYPSY QUEEN, DEM BONES’ REVENGE and the just-released, REVENGE FOR OLD TIMES’ SAKE.

I always knew Tracy had to be an April Fool’s baby — nothing else made sense in terms of her reality-challenged family. I don’t think I ever shared Tracy’s birthday with my readers, but I did describe the circumstances of her birth in the second book in the series, DEM BONES’ REVENGE:

“The story of my birth was a closely guarded secret — known only to the immediate world. Frustrated by three bouts of false labor, Mother picked a fight with Dad, sending him off in a huff. Once he left, the real thing got underway. Apparently, it didn’t occur to her to call for help. She just hopped in the car and took off on her own. When the first bad contraction hit, she lost control of the wheel.

“I arrived on the steps of the church she crashed into. Contrary to rumors, it wasn’t St. Tracy’s. There is no St. Tracy’s in Beverly Hills. And wouldn’t that be silly basis for naming a child? The real story is more subtle. You might remember that Veronica Howard and Mother were great rivals at the time. But you might not know Miss Howard’s much younger third husband was having a torrid affair with a mere child named Tracy West. Clearly, a better way to choose a baby’s name. I’m glad I was able to provide my mother with that opportunity.”

Obviously, Tracy is a pretty independent sort, a one-of-a-kind adventurer, someone who marches to the beat of her own unconventional drummer. Me too. I’m so independent that, with my husband, I own an independent bookstore, The Well Red Coyote in Sedona, Arizona. [http://www.wellredcoyote.com]

The Well Red Coyote is a great store — always voted Best Bookstore in Sedona. While it’s a general-interest store, we have a strong mystery section. Strong sections in lots of categories. What we’ve created is a real community gathering spot. All of our appearing fiction authors present writing workshops, and our nonfiction authors offer seminars on their books’ subjects. Our programs are usually presented to overflowing, enthusiastic crowds. We also offer live music concerts, everything from blues and rock, to inspirational music and Native American flute playing. All always free.

Yet even in an offbeat place like Sedona, independence — in terms of bookstores, and stores in general — is becoming an endangered species. Despite their vocal support, we’re losing some of our old customers to Internet booksellers Maybe it’s the result of a genuine need to shave costs somewhere, or maybe it’s simply that, given the war of half-priced books online, books aren’t deemed to be worth their full price anymore by too many people.

It isn’t just independent bookstores that are suffering, either. Brick-and-mortar chain stores are hurting, too.

My books are published by traditional, independent presses (see how independent I am!), Red Coyote Press and Cherokee McGhee Publishing, so I’m used to distribution challenges. But I hear from other mystery writers, those published by NY presses, that increasingly, the chain stores are not ordering their books, or are ordering them in such limited number that they can’t possibly achieve the sell-through their publishers expect, at least not from the stores where their books used to be sold.

Ironically, with no stores but independents willing to support them, most authors do not do their own book buying in independent stores. I hear this from them all the time — they do most of their buying online, or even the warehouse stores. And I can tell you they rarely buy anything from the stores that host their signings. Strange, since online sellers have never been known to host an author signing.

Surely, I can’t be the only one who sees that the purpose of the online sellers’ price slashing war is to eliminate the competition, be they independent stores, or chain stores, and to bring publishers to their knees. What will happen when they succeed in closing down the competition? What will happen to choice? Independent stores pride themselves on their independent selections. Will there be anything to read beyond the limited Costco selection of twenty books or so at a time? When there’s no competition any longer, what will happen to the prices they charge?

Today, though, they’re often cheaper. And, sure, money is tight for everyone. But we vote with our dollars. We determine the shape of our world with every penny we spend. If you don’t see any value in independent stores, then just keep doing what you’re doing. But if you do, don’t wait until they’re all gone to lament their passing. Help them thrive now, while you still can.

Will anyone miss independent bookstores when they’re gone? I know my character, Tracy Eaton, and I will. But we’re both independent sorts.

How about you?