How to handle life (and what to avoid in the school cafeteria) as told by a 9-year-old

by Rachel Brady

It happens to every blogger at some point: Idea Freeze.

Fortunately, I have kids. So when I get blocked, I ask them stuff. This time, I had a conversation with my middle daughter.

RB: Thanks for sitting down with me to help me organize some thoughts. Do you ever suffer from unorganized thoughts?

LB: Sometimes. Mostly while I’m being distracted when I’m trying to work, like when funny things happen or a smoke alarm goes off.

RB: What things do you think grown-ups should do more often to clear their minds?

LB: Take a second to relax. Breathe very slowly.

RB: Do you know what a comfort food is?

LB: No.

RB: It’s a favorite food some people eat when they’re freaking out. Do you have a comfort food?

LB: No.

RB: What are your thoughts on sleeping in?

LB: I like to!

RB: Let’s hear about the three situations that aggravate you the most and the ways that you handle them.

LB: One. When (my sister) is mean to me. I tell her to stop. Two. When I get hurt. I try to relax and heal it for a while. Three. When I got stung by the bee, I really wanted to smoosh it, but since it was already dead I just tried to relax and handle things normally.

RB: How do you feel about pets and about how animals make humans feel better?

LB: When I’m feeling bad and I pet them, they’re so soft. I get all caught up in my pets and how cute and soft they are. They help me get through it.

RB: What would you most like to get out of fourth grade?

LB: To try to get smarter and have more knowledge about all the subjects. To learn more things that are new to me.

RB: What advice would you give to your grown-up self if you could meet her in the future?

LB: Um, I don’t really understand this question?

RB: Let’s try it a different way. What advice would you give to your kindergarten self if you could go back in time?

LB: I would tell her things I already know so maybe she’d learn even more in older grades.

RB: What three pieces of advice would you give to other parents like me who want to do the very best job they can for their kiddos?

LB: One. Stay in work so we can have money and survive. Two. Try to be your normal self because I like you. Three. It’s really fun being a parent. I know that from you. Is it fun because you get to boss people around?

RB: That is one of the perks. What’s your favorite food in the school cafeteria?

LB: Pancakes. And nachos.

RB: At the same time?

LB: No, on different days.

RB: What’s the worst food?

LB: Um, are you showing this to my school?

RB: No.

LB: Then it’s the steak fingers. They have a terrible aftertaste.

RB: What else should I ask you?

LB: I could ask you some!

RB: Okay, you’re allowed three. Go.

LB: What is one of your favorite places?

RB: I love to go running on nature trails in the woods. Yours?

LB: At the YMCA playing soccer. Where would you like to be when you’re alone and mad?

RB: Either lying down in my bed relaxing or out for a walk. You?

LB: Probably in my bed like you.

RB: What makes you that mad?

LB: When (my sister) calls me bad words.

RB: Ignore her.

LB: Yep. Do you like to shop?

RB: I hate shopping. I don’t like to spend money! You?

LB: At the Dollar Tree, everything is a dollar. When I was little I got a purple horn there.

RB: How are you feeling about the first day of school tomorrow?

LB: Nervous and excited all at the same time.

RB: You’ll do great. Goodnight, pal. Thanks for answering my questions.

LB: Love you, Mom.