People
by Bethany Maines
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about unintentional sexism.
For those who haven’t read any of my books, the Carrie Mae Mysteries, feature a
group of women who work for Carrie Mae Cosmetics Corporation, which just
happens to also be running an all
female spy organization that focuses on women’s issues through-out the world. Because
women can multi-task, that’s why. It’s a light-hearted premise that allows me
to talk about women’s issues, which can be kind of a downer, in a light-hearted
way.
For those who haven’t read any of my books, the Carrie Mae Mysteries, feature a
group of women who work for Carrie Mae Cosmetics Corporation, which just
happens to also be running an all
female spy organization that focuses on women’s issues through-out the world. Because
women can multi-task, that’s why. It’s a light-hearted premise that allows me
to talk about women’s issues, which can be kind of a downer, in a light-hearted
way.
I knew I was writing from a feminist perspective, but I’d
always thought of sexism as the way in which society/men would intentionally
attempt to hold power and subjugate women. But when the first book, Bulletproof
Mascara, came out I was unprepared for how many people couldn’t seem to wrap
their head around the concept. “It’s girls… who are spies, and they do the
fighting?” You could practically
see, “does not compute” written on their foreheads. One over seventy gentleman
actually asked, “But if you like that kind of James Bond story, why did you
write it about girls?” He wasn’t being mean; he just honestly didn’t understand
why I wouldn’t write about a man. After a moment of floundering, I responded
that we all wanted characters that we could pretend to be and this was my
attempt to give girls someone to look up to. After some discussion he seemed to
be nodding a long. I hope that I broadened his horizons, but I also know he
didn’t buy the book. Another man who’d been forced to read the book by his
reading group commented that he had been worried that he wouldn’t like it, but
ended up enjoying it because “they were just people learning new
skills!” That’s right – women are
people too. It’s a shocking concept, but I’m pretty sure you can adjust.
always thought of sexism as the way in which society/men would intentionally
attempt to hold power and subjugate women. But when the first book, Bulletproof
Mascara, came out I was unprepared for how many people couldn’t seem to wrap
their head around the concept. “It’s girls… who are spies, and they do the
fighting?” You could practically
see, “does not compute” written on their foreheads. One over seventy gentleman
actually asked, “But if you like that kind of James Bond story, why did you
write it about girls?” He wasn’t being mean; he just honestly didn’t understand
why I wouldn’t write about a man. After a moment of floundering, I responded
that we all wanted characters that we could pretend to be and this was my
attempt to give girls someone to look up to. After some discussion he seemed to
be nodding a long. I hope that I broadened his horizons, but I also know he
didn’t buy the book. Another man who’d been forced to read the book by his
reading group commented that he had been worried that he wouldn’t like it, but
ended up enjoying it because “they were just people learning new
skills!” That’s right – women are
people too. It’s a shocking concept, but I’m pretty sure you can adjust.
But I can’t say that other people (aka men) have the exclusive
on this locked down paradigm of what girls can do. As I sat down to work on a
Carrie Mae short story featuring my sniper Ellen and a Cambodian drug dealer in
Canada I kept thinking that I should throw in a man. Maybe the security guard
should be a man? What about the
plane pilot? He should be a man, right?
The driver? And then I
thought – it’s an organization entirely staffed by women, why am I trying to
shoe-horn in a dude?
on this locked down paradigm of what girls can do. As I sat down to work on a
Carrie Mae short story featuring my sniper Ellen and a Cambodian drug dealer in
Canada I kept thinking that I should throw in a man. Maybe the security guard
should be a man? What about the
plane pilot? He should be a man, right?
The driver? And then I
thought – it’s an organization entirely staffed by women, why am I trying to
shoe-horn in a dude?
As I was pondering my own desire to shove a man into a
narrative that clearly didn’t need one, I got an email from a friend who has
been renewing her fitness goals and has decided to go back to the gym and start
lifting weights with the goal of doing a pull-up. As she has announced her
plans to various friends and colleagues, their responses have all started with,
“But…” One college educated friend actually said, “But girls can’t do pull-ups because
we’re built differently.” To that
I say – look, here’s a video of girl doing pull-ups. But why is that we always
think about women in terms of things they can’t do? Why are we so quick to make sure other women know they can’t
do that? What does it take to make the paradigm shift? When do women
get to be people?
narrative that clearly didn’t need one, I got an email from a friend who has
been renewing her fitness goals and has decided to go back to the gym and start
lifting weights with the goal of doing a pull-up. As she has announced her
plans to various friends and colleagues, their responses have all started with,
“But…” One college educated friend actually said, “But girls can’t do pull-ups because
we’re built differently.” To that
I say – look, here’s a video of girl doing pull-ups. But why is that we always
think about women in terms of things they can’t do? Why are we so quick to make sure other women know they can’t
do that? What does it take to make the paradigm shift? When do women
get to be people?
Bethany Maines
is the author of the Carrie Mae Mystery series and Tales
from the City of Destiny. You can also
view the Carrie Mae youtube
video or catch up with her on Twitter.
is the author of the Carrie Mae Mystery series and Tales
from the City of Destiny. You can also
view the Carrie Mae youtube
video or catch up with her on Twitter.
Bethany, it's become more prevalent than it's been in years to denigrate women's abilities, especially physical abilities–even as women have been proving themselves in combat for the first (official)time in American history. I might be considered a professional feminist since I ran a university women's center, taught women's studies, and published in the field for decades, and I've seen it get better and then, in the past 8-10 years, get much worse. I think a lot of it is the political climate and the fact that the media is almost completely corporately owned and often by corporations with political agendas. Voila! We're suddenly the "little woman" again.
Kudos to you and your great series!
I think you're right – I think it has gotten worse. I feel like the frog in the pot who notices the water is boiling and keeps trying to alert the other frogs. It helps to know other frogs are noticing too!