Permission to Put Yourself First
by Sparkle Abbey
During one of our weekly coffee chats, we found ourselves ruminating over the realization that we were busier now than we were when we both had 9-to-5 jobs. How was it that even with the best of intentions, we were distracted by new ideas, pursuing new dreams, and spending time with our families, that we had once again forgotten to prioritize caring for ourselves?
Our first inclination was to immediately take inventory of what we could pare down, rearrange, or even eliminate. And then we took a breath, a sip of coffee, and reminded ourselves of what we already knew: we didn’t need to overhaul our whole life to start living it more fully. We just needed to revisit a couple of simple actions to focus on living our best lives. A gentle nudge toward reestablishing doable habits that leave us happier and healthier at the end of the day. A reminder that we didn’t need permission to put ourselves first.
So, here are the three habits we challenged ourselves to kickstart over 30 days.
1. Picture the Day You Want
Take ten quiet minutes in the morning (before the day gets away from you) and imagine how you want it to unfold. What do you want to get done? Who do you want to connect with? How do you want to feel when you crawl into bed at night?
You don’t need a journal or a timer — just a moment with your thoughts while the coffee brews.
Not sure where to start? Try asking:
- What three things would make today feel satisfying?
- Who will I see or talk to today — and how can I be present with them?
- How do I want to end the day — with a sense of peace, accomplishment, or fun?
And then, the important part: take one step to make it happen.
2. Watch That Inner Dialogue
We’ve both caught ourselves thinking things like, “Maybe it’s too late to start something new,” or “Someone else is already doing that.” But we’ve also learned this: thoughts like that aren’t helpful, and frankly, we don’t have time for them anymore.
So now, when those sneaky little thoughts creep in, we ask: would we say that to our best friend? Of course not.
Start tracking those negative whispers in your mind, and swap them for kinder ones. Even something as small as “I love how the smell of my coffee makes me smile” can shift the whole mood of your day.
3. Treat Your Body Like a Friend
It’s time to get real: living our best lives requires us to feel well. That doesn’t mean a two-hour run or a strict diet you’ll only stick to for three days. It means treating our bodies with the same care we treat our best friends.
Here are a few things we’ve started doing (and they’re not hard, we promise):
- Taking a walk around the neighborhood. It doesn’t matter what time of day, just get moving!
- Adding one more glass of water each day. We like to add lemon or lime slices.
- Journaling in the morning or before bed, even just a few lines.
All the little things matter. And by stacking the little things, they add up quickly.
What about you? Are there any habits or actions you think we should try?
Sparkle Abbey is the pseudonym of mystery authors Mary Lee Woods and Anita Carter. They’ve chosen to use Sparkle Abbey as their pen name on this series because they liked the idea of combining the names of their two rescue pets – Sparkle (ML’s cat) and Abbey (Anita’s dog).
The authors co-write the best-selling Pampered Pets Mystery Series, which focuses on the wacky world of precious pedigrees, pampered pooches, and secrets in posh Laguna Beach, California. The main characters and amateur sleuths are Texas cousins, Caro Lamont, a pet therapist, and Melinda Langston, a pet boutique owner. The two would join forces and work together if they were speaking, but they’re not. Midwest Book Review calls the series “A sassy and fun mystery!”