Tag Archive for: inspiration

The Letter I’ll Never Forget

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Here it is again, a new year. A fresh start, and yet, a hint of gloom still permeates the air. We’ve all had to navigate through and adjust to new realities. How are you managing?

Whenever I’m struggling, I lean on the philosophy of someone I fell in love with years ago:

Vincent Van Gogh.

I was in my twenties and slightly adrift when I picked up Dear Theo, a compilation of Vincent’s letters to his brother. A few years earlier, I had visited the museum in Amsterdam dedicated to him. Though he wasn’t my favorite painter at the time, his spirit spoke to me through his art and grabbed onto something deep inside.

Van Gogh’s letters are an almost-daily account of his struggles. They vividly detail his miserable existence. Yet through it all, he kept working to be better.

The one I’ll never forget

A letter he wrote in 1884 has kept me going through rough moments in my personal and my writing life. Here’s a bit of it, lightly paraphrased and edited for brevity:

One mustn’t be afraid to do something wrong sometimes… You don’t know how paralyzing it is, the idiotic stare from a blank canvas that says you can’t do anything. Many painters are afraid of the blank canvas. But the blank canvas is afraid of the truly passionate painter who dares…

Life itself likewise turns toward us an infinitely idiotic and meaningless blank side. But however meaningless life appears, the person of faith, of energy, of warmth, doesn’t get discouraged. He steps in and builds up…

Substitute an author’s blank page for the painter’s canvas, and this is my daily inspiration.

Did you know that Vincent was also a book lover? Here’s this: It is with the reading of books the same as with looking at art. One should, with assurance, admire what is beautiful.

And this: So often, a visit to a bookshop has cheered me and reminded me that there are good things in the world.

And on another subject, this: A woman is not old so long as she loves and is loved.

Yes, he led a tragic, troubled life. Worse than most of us can imagine. But he never stopped wanting to capture truth and beauty in his art and his life.

Perhaps we all could take a lesson from Vincent, dare to face the blank canvas that is 2023, and choose to make this year into our own work of art.

Wishing you a year full of love and good health. And good books!

 

Gay Yellen writes the award-winning

Samantha Newman Mystery Series:

The Body Business, The Body Next Door,

and coming soon in 2023: Body in the News!

 

Inspiration Close to Home

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I believe authors–well, most people for that matter, seek inspiration. Perhaps that’s why they will stop perusing social media, or a newspaper article, and hone in on a pull quote or a funny or powerful meme. I’m certainly no different. But as a storyteller, I’m fortunate because I find inspiration each an every morning right inside my home. My husband doesn’t deliberately try to be funny–he just is. He’s a chemical engineer, extremely absentminded, extremely bright, and has a dry wit that people remember.

His funny “Les” stories have often made it onto Facebook where people tell me they belong in a book. I mentioned he’s absentminded. Here’s one that made it into a post. 

Bank Teller from the Drive-thru window: Good morning, Mr. Bell, regarding this transaction, what would you like me to do with it, sir?

Les: Cash it.

Bank Teller: Er, I can’t do that. You’ve sent me your lottery ticket.

Oops. I used to worry when he told me things like this. But it’s been that way since the day I met him. One thing that makes up for his absentmindedness is he is extremely motivated and hard working. He put so much into his career that he often travelled Monday through Friday on road trips, Road trips take a toll on the body, and when he was 50, he was diagnosed with prediabetes. His mother had it, so to say we were concerned, is putting it lightly.  

His doctor wanted to put him on medication. But Les insisted he wanted to try something else first. He’s always been athletic, but there was that weight gain thing, and, along with diet, it would take a while for him to get back into shape. He didn’t wait long. Suddenly, he’d be out the door and running around the block. “Where’d you go?” I’d ask. “For a quick run.”

I lived a lot of years in my former neighborhood and everyone knew us. All at once, that scenario of running around the block turned into running around the neighborhood, and then into 2 and 5Ks. He joined a running club in Colorado Springs, something that wasn’t always the healthiest format, because after the run, there was a whole lot of celebrating–with beer.

Fast forward a a few months, he announced he was ready to do a half marathon of 13 miles. He was so proud of himself after he’d completed it, and he walked around the house calling himself a “Marathon Man.” “Not really,” I replied. “Technically, you’re  half a marathon man.” He took my teasing well, but as he always does, he kept on trekking. 

One day he breezed into the house and announced he’d signed up for the marathon of his dreams. He’d run quite a few by then, so I said, “Where to?” “Antarctica,” he replied. My mouth dropped open. “Les, you hate water. You can’t swim.” “There’s that,” he replied, “but the marathon only takes a few people per year due to environmental concerns, and you have to sign up. There’s a four-year waiting list.” I relaxed. He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Four years passed and he got the call. “You’re in, Les. You made the cut.” Despite his fear of water, I drove this non-swimmer to Denver International Airport, kissed him goodbye for his 17-day adventure and left the airport. A few minutes later he called and said, “Don, (he calls me Don), could you come back? I forgot my passport in the car.” (Some things never change.)

He experienced seasickness, and rough water, and even the ocean splashing into his bunk at night. This wasn’t a cruise line he was on. It was a charter boat captained by a no-nonsense, serious-minded Russian captain who didn’t speak much English. The phone calls were nonexistent and the e-mails were intermittent. But, darned, if he didn’t finish that marathon–seasickness and all.

Les wearing his medal

Les posing with his seal friends

Couple married aboard ship by Russian captain. (Les was best man)

Majestic scenery

Antarctica peninsula 

As I close out this blog, I’d like to show you the shadow box my sister-in-law made for her brother. It has many of the full marathons Les has run after that scary wakeup call. He has a separate box filled with metals–it’s heavy! He’s run marathons close to home, the farthest, Seattle, New York, and as I said, Antarctica. The toughest one he’ll tell you is the Bataan Memorial Death March, right here in our new home in the deserts surrounding Las Cruces.

Les’s shadow box

I’m grateful for the laughter I experience in my house. More importantly I’m grateful for the inspiration.  How about you? Do you find laughter and inspiration close to home? 

About the Author:  Donnell Ann Bell began her writing nonfiction career at the Colorado Springs Business Journal and Pikes Peak Parent Newsmagazine before turning to fiction. An award-winning author, her most recent success is the 2020 Colorado Book Award for Black Pearl, A Cold Case Suspense. Currently she’s doing edits for book two in the Cold Case series. To learn more you can find her at www.donnellannbell.com  Facebook, Twitter @donnellannbell or Instagram. 

Wisdom Gained From Eating Dark Chocolate

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Wisdom Gained From Eating Dark Chocolate by Debra H. Goldstein
The combination
of staying indoors (which I don’t really mind) and being frustrated by my work
in progress (which I do mind) has forced me to take drastic steps:  I opened a bag of Dove dark chocolate pieces
with almonds. Delicious and the fun thing is the wrapper on each piece has a
message.
Because I had nothing
better to do (remember, I’m frustrated with my work in progress — and by now,
I’d just thrown out seventy pages and was debating whether to change whodunit),
I decided to let the messages guide me through the day. First, I thought it might
be a fun experiment for the blog and second, it might give spur my writing in a
new direction or at least give me the fodder for a blog.
The first message
was simple: “Every moment matters including this one!”  Okay, it was time to stop playing solitaire
and get to work.
I tried, but words
and ideas weren’t coming to me with the ease I remembered from the past. It was
time for more chocolate and another message: “Keep life moving forward,
looking backward is only for time travelers.”  Well, that was a kick in the … that I needed.
Instead of struggling with my novel, I decided to write my April blogs. Surprising
the words flowed out of me.
When I went for
my third and final piece of chocolate for the day, I was feeling pretty good,
but I knew there was more that I could do. The third message confirmed my inner
thought: “Don’t stop until you’re proud.”

I give you my
word, I won’t.

Turning to Other Writers for Inspiration

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Turning to Other Writers for Inspiration by Linda Rodriguez (originally published on The Stiletto Gang-November 4, 2016)

Periodically, I get a little burned-out
from working too long and hard without a break. I start to face
resistance when I sit down to write. I have developed several
techniques for dealing with this, but the first one I always try—and
one that usually works—is to turn to what other writers have
written about the trials and tribulations of writing.

So I look at what other writers have
written about resistance, about finding themselves reluctant to sit
down and write, even when that’s what they most want to do. Many
writers have written about this topic because this state is one that
every writer finds herself or himself in sooner or later. As I go
down the long list of writers who have written about this miserable
place to find yourself, the first thing I encounter is a very wise
statement from science fiction writer, Kameron Hurley.

“If
I quit now I will soon go back to where I started. And when I
started, I was desperate to get to where I am now.” –
Kameron Hurley

I
realize, as I read, that the problem at bottom is always fear, no
matter what else is also involved. Yes, I’m tired and need a little
break and some recreational reading or activity that will help
restore and replenish my well of creativity, but always, lurking for
moments of exhaustion and weakness, is the writer’s bane, fear. And I
find a great writer there before me, as well.

“The
work is greater than my fear.” –Audre Lord

So,
for the next time you find yourself burned-out and exhausted and
coming up empty when you sit down to write here are more helpful
quotations from writers about the process.

“Discipline
is simply remembering what you want.” – Judith Claire Mitchell

“Start
writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is
turned on.” – Louis L’Amour

“Work
is the only answer.” –Ray Bradbury

“A
word after a word after a word is power.”–Margaret Atwood

“The
first draft is just you telling yourself the story.” — Terry
Pratchett

“The
most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters
except sitting down every day and trying. ,,, This is the other
secret that real artists know and wannabe writers don’t. When we
sit down each day and do our work, power concentrates around us.”
– Steven Pressfield

Have
you got some favorite quotations from writers that help you in such a
situation?
Linda Rodriguez’s book, Plotting the
Character-Driven Novel, is based on her
popular workshop. Her Skeet Bannon series featuring Cherokee campus police chief, Skeet Bannion includes Every Hidden Fear,
Every Broken Trust, and Every Last Secret. She also is the author of several books of poetry. Linda has received critical recognition and awards, such as Malice
Domestic Best First Novel, International Latino Book Award, Latina
Book Club Best Book of 2014, Midwest Voices & Visions, Elvira
Cordero Cisneros Award, Thorpe Menn Award, and Ragdale and Macondo
fellowships. Her short story, “The Good Neighbor,”
published in the anthology, Kansas City Noir, has been
optioned for film. Find her on the web at http://lindarodriguezwrites.blogspot.com.

Top Ten Writing Tips

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Top Ten Writing Tips

By Cathy Perkins
I can’t believe it’s already the middle of
January! How are you coming with your New Year’s Resolutions?
One of my resolutions was to transfer the
organization I always implemented in my day job to my writing life. Since my
writing space and habits were a bit (cough, a lot) disorganized, I got together
with some author friends. What quickly evolved was a set of writing tips. Many
of these I’ve done without conscious thought. I’m attempting to be more mindful,
however, and plan to use this structure as additional motivation to, as one
friend puts it, finish the damn book.

So, without further fanfare – the writing
tips:

Ten – Make lists. Every day I make a list of the things I
want to accomplish that day. (I’m not sure what it says about me that I love
drawing a line through an item when it’s done.)
The first line (every day but Sunday) is always, Write. Long-term-goals are listed
on my white board: things I want to be sure I don’t forget, but I don’t have to
do today.

Nine – Sprint.  A group of us grabs our first, or next,
cup of coffee and checks in, then we all ignore each other, turn off the
internet and the phone, and work steadily for an hour. It’s a writing club, a
mutual support group, and a fabulous technique for working without
interruption. I write until I meet my word count goal for the day. (Thank
Steven King for this one.)

Eight – Work on one series at a
time. I try my best to immerse myself
in one setting, one set of characters, one story, whether I’m working on a
first draft or revising a draft. Avoiding the “new shiny” keeps me
focused.

Seven – Finish what’s due
first. Except #8 blows up sometimes.
I’ll be in first draft mode on Pony Ring and edits will come in from Beaver
Pond. I operate on the First Due principle. I knock out the edits, because they’re
due in a week or two, then get back to the longer work. The problem with doing
that, of course, is getting back up to speed with the work-in-process, so I can
re-immerse myself in that world.

Six – Take time away from the
desk. By the end of a writing session,
my creative brain is mush. I usually go for what I call my plotting walk,
especially if I’m writing a first draft. There’s something about the rhythm of
walking that brings the next scene or a plot problem into focus. It makes the dogs
happy to get out of the house, too.


Five – Separate creative time
from admin time. I’m
most creative in the early morning, so I do my writing then. A corollary is,
Keep creative time sacred. I don’t schedule anything else for mornings. I try
to keep writing blog posts, scheduling author events, record-keeping, and all
the other business stuff for the evenings.

Four – Work ahead. Know what you want to accomplish – I’ve written
my goals for the year and set up a time table to implement them. That means I
work now on upcoming items instead of
waiting and scrambling at the last minute.

Three – Outsource what I can’t
do. While I tinker with art and
photo-editing, I know my limits with graphic design. I hire a wonderful cover
artist. I like formatting my books, but it’s something I can do in the evening
while my husband watches TV. The key point is identifying what I’m good at and
enjoy, versus what I can outsource. Why waste time on things it would take me
forever to do and rob me of the hours I need to do what I’m good at – writing
stories?

Two – Stay healthy. I always have a full flask of water on my desk.
Fluids in, fluids out. It makes me get up and move around every hour or so. And
if I forget, my Fitbit buzzes at me with a reminder. I try to eat lean fresh
foods, and I get regular exercise even if it isn’t always a sweaty gym workout.
And the exercise doubles as creative time – see #6!

One – Butt in the chair, fingers
on the keyboard. This is
really the most important one. If I get distracted, schedule other things, or
simply don’t do the writing, then…I’m not doing the writing. And that’s my
job. Of all the varied jobs I’ve held, I’m lucky and blessed to have this one I
love.

What tips
can you add?


An award-winning author of financial mysteries, Cathy Perkins writes twisting dark suspense and light amateur sleuth stories.  When not writing, she battles with the beavers over the pond height or heads out on another travel adventure. She lives in Washington with her husband, children, several dogs and the resident deer herd.  Visit her at http://cperkinswrites.com or on Facebook 

Sign up for her new release announcement newsletter in either place.

She’s hard at work on sequel to The Body in the Beaver Pond, which was recently presented with the Claymore Award. 

Highway to Friendship

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By Sparkle Abbey
We love to travel. Whether it’s just the two of us, with our critique group, or with our husbands, we love the adventure that lies ahead.  We’ve traveled together by plane and car. We’ve been to Illinois, New York, California, Washington DC, Michigan (on accident), Missouri, Nebraska, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Colorado, Florida, and Texas to name just a few states. We’ve hopped in the car for book signings, writing conferences, for personal vacations, and even a couple spur-of-the-moment road trips to work out plot problems.
Not only does our traveling together strengthen our relationship, it strengthens our writing. We’ve explored cozy small towns and bustling metropolitan areas, soaking in the cultures, smells, sounds, and rhythm of the people to color our stories with relatable details and memorable characters inspired by real life.
We’ve brainstormed our best titles on an airplane—Fifty Shades of Greyhound and The Girl with the Dachshund Tattoo. We’ve stuffed 300 individual dog treats into tiny cellophane bags for conference giveaways, created detailed marketing plans, all while jotting down notes on the conversations we’ve “accidentally” overheard during a lunch stop at the Cracker Barrel, (they have the best restrooms). For us, travel inspires creativity and helps us focus. We especially love it when we have those famous “ah-ha moments.”

When traveling with someone for twenty years (yes, that means we started traveling together since we were twelve), you not only can you finish each other’s sentences, but you can communicate an entire conversation with a single look. You know each other’s entire routine before bed, how they like their coffee in the morning, and when they’re ready for morning conversation—no real talking before the first cup of coffee. You each know when the other needs their downtime or just a trip to Starbucks.
Traveling with a best friend, you know you’ll find adventure. Swimming at midnight. Dinner with an Elvis impersonator. A Rod Stewart sighting. Nonstop talking to the point you’ve lost your voices. And best of all, permission to act silly. Never judgment, just someone you trust to join in on the fun!
Now we’re planning to take a cruise together with our husbands. Who knows what mischief we’ll cook up on a ship?  We can’t wait to find out!

What about you? Do you have someone you enjoy traveling with? What do you like about traveling together?

We also have some exciting news to share! Book 10, The Dogfather, will make its debut September 21st!

It’s available now for presale. 
About The Dogfather –
Who knew the world of designer purses could be such a dog-eat-dog business?

When a local, designer handbags store owner is found dead, the police first believe it’s an unfortunate accident. But the evidence doesn’t lie. Before you can say “wiseguy,” Bow Wow Boutique owner, Melinda Langston’s, former fiancé and undercover FBI agent, Grey Donovan, is the prime suspect.

Now the two are working side-by-side to prove Grey’s innocence— nothing personal, just business. Or is it? Suspects are piling up, family secrets are exposed, and no one is who they appear to be, including Mel’s newest employee. Time’s running out. Mel better sniff out the killer before she and Grey end up sleeping with the fishes.

Spark

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by J.M. Phillippe
Sometimes, I feel stuck. Sometimes, all I have in me is a stream of consciousness dump…
I am fumbling for words, searching my memory for rich sensory details, imagery and metaphor, a perfect picture painted with perspicacity, brought forth from my fertile imagination. 
I am new again, raw, an amateur who is just barely beginning to understand what creative writing is. I am spilling out consciousness on the page in rambling streams of poorly relayed emotion. Write what you know, but what do I know, anyway? What stories are mine to tell?
Oh, and I thought I was dark before, thought I had some sense of loss or grief, of the thousand natural shocks, but I am only a Horatio, battered witness of the twists and turns all around me. Transferred trauma, and they tell me to take care, but care has been taken to take such time away. I have no time. I have no energy to use what time I have.
I don’t take the time. I don’t spare the energy.
I sleep too much and not enough.
I fall back on the old words, the easy words. It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rings out. Once upon a time, in a land far far away. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Call me Ishmael.
In the room the women come and go, talking of Michaelangelo. And how should I presume?
All words are old, all words used so many times already. Should I dig up my vocabulary books, reacquaint myself with the archaic and obsolete, so that I may impress myself with my own prolix prose? 
And the seven (less or more?) great plot lines continue to unfold, over and over, and as Aimee Mann sings, “But nobody wants to hear this tale, The plot is clichéd, the jokes are stale, And baby we’ve all heard it all before.”
The only thing that’s mine is my voice. The only thing that can be new, the only thing that could make a story I tell different than any other.
But my voice needs words.
Words words words.
Lost in page counts, lost in deadlines, lost in pressures and anxieties floating all around me like ash, so thick it coats you, so thick it chokes you.
But even in the ash, a spark may fly, a tiny flake of potential floating on eddies, looking for the right tinder to settle on, the right wind to blow, and kindle standing by, waiting to burn.
I am a pile of kindle, ready to burn. I am waiting for my spark to find me.
***
J.M. Phillippe is the author of Perfect Likeness and the short story The Sight. She has lived in the deserts of California, the suburbs of Seattle, and the mad rush of New York City. She works as a family therapist in Brooklyn, New York and spends her free-time decorating her tiny apartment to her cat Oscar Wilde’s liking, drinking cider at her favorite British-style pub, and training to be the next Karate Kid, one wax-on at a time.

What Inspires You?

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by Sparkle Abbey

“All the effort in the world won’t matter if
you’re not inspired.”―Chuck Palahniuk




Inspiration
is everywhere. As writers, we are always looking for ways to be stirred to
greatness… or at least to productivity. Inspiration drives actions. In our case, that means words on the blank page.


When we’re on deadline, as we are now, we don’t get to wait for inspiration
to hit, we have to sit down and do the work. But that doesn’t mean we stop
looking for ways to be inspired. 


We’re moved by great books and entertaining movies. A photo of the sea or a road trip with our closest girl friends. A great conversation with differing viewpoints or a good laugh. 



Sometimes inspiration is as simple as remembering why we wanted a particular goal in the first place. Remembering the “why” can be pretty inspiring.

Other times you simply need a break in the action. We’ve heard it referred to as refilling the well, and that’s truly what it feels like. Your inspiration and creativity has been depleted and you need to pause and refill.

We also love a good quote. Here are a few that
have inspired us:

“I don’t go by the rule book. I lead from the heart, not the head.” – Princess Diana


“Don’t waste time waiting for inspiration. Begin, and inspiration will find you.” –  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.  

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott



These are the things that inspire us, but we’re not all inspired by the same things or in the same ways. We’d love to hear what inspires you?


Mary Lee and Anita aka Sparkle Abbey


Here’s a little more news from us:
We are busy working on books nine and ten in The Pampered Pets Mysteries. 


We just received word from our publisher that Raiders of the Lost Bark,
book eight in the series, will soon be an ebook special so watch for that special pricing coming soon. 

Also, if you’re missing any of our backlist this is a great time to catch up so you’re ready for book eight. Details on all the titles are available here.

And if
you want to make sure you’re up on all the Sparkle Abbey news, stop by our
website and sign up for updates at sparkleabbey.com.

State of Hope

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Phyllis A. Whitney

I am
constantly looking for a writing craft book or article, organized notebook,
online class, or writing conference that will bring all the elements together
to make me the writer I want to be. I search the computer and scope out the
writing sections of bookstores and libraries, certain the magical resource is
out there if only I can locate it.

Perhaps this
continuing optimism comes from the memory of discovering Phyllis A. Whitney’s
books that gave me a step-by-step writing process and helped me to focus on the
craft of creating a story. I will never forget my aunt giving me a copy of
Whitney’s Guide to Fiction Writing (Boston,
MA: The Writer, Inc., 1982) (which she bought as a selection from her book-of-the-month
club). I consider it a prized possession. That gift let me know my aunt shared
my vision, believed in me as an author, and supported my dream.

While some of
Whitney’s advice doesn’t match the current publishing industry, other pearls of
wisdom are timeless:
(1)   
On why she does not need to apologize for
following a “formula” for mystery writing: “Having found my niche, I’ve worked
out a pattern that enables me to venture within its broad boundaries and never
find myself bored.” (p. ix)

(2)   
“Perhaps opportunity is like a train on an
endless track. Now and then it makes a stop at your station, often without
fanfare and without warning.” (p. 4)

(3)   
“What you do now
counts. . . . Work and wait and learn, and that train will come by. If you give
up, you’ll never have a chance to climb aboard.” (p. 9)

(4)   
“[W]e all write somehow – making time – and habit grows strong with practice. The challenge
is always the same: How much do you
want to write? Not just to be a writer, but to
write.” (p. 12)

(5)   
“[Y]ou must develop your own writing pattern.”
(p. 12)

(6)   
“[Y]ou’ll learn to use what comes, good and bad,
and it will become part of whatever you are, and find its way under many
disguises into your work.” (p. 13)

(7)   
“[D]evelop the habit of observation and
analysis.” (p. 13)

Maybe my
favorite part of the book is Chapters 3 and 4, where Whitney explains how she
sets up her own notebook for writing a novel. Chapter 3 covers “the
Preliminaries” and proposes the following divisions for the writer’s notebook: a
calendar (to measure progress); a list of potential titles; a chronology in two
parts, the first listing a chapter-by-chapter summary and the second providing
information about characters and story events; and a section to explore theme
and situation.
In Chapter 4,
she gets to “the Heart of the Matter.” The notebook sections described are for:
plotting, characters, an outline, material to be checked (including matters for
research as well as details to be verified), a bibliography of sources
consulted, research notes, background unique and perhaps created for the novel,
and a collection of potential names.

Some of the
sections in Whitney’s notebook are specific for a single work while others may
be continued through several works. She offers her method as a system that
works for her and may be adapted by other writers to suit their practice.

The second
part of Whitney’s book is about structuring a story and has chapters explaining
how to deal with the beginning, middle, and end; add suspense and emotion;
create intriguing characters; deal appropriately with time, transitions, and
flashbacks; and revise. The shortest chapter provides advice on getting the
book published.

At the end,
Whitney says, “This is a book about writing.
I hope it’s a book you will mark up and use – as I do my collected books on
writing. I hope as well that you’ve found in it some of the encouragement we
all need to keep us going.” (p. 140)

How amazing
that Whitney’s voice continues to humbly reach out to future generations
seeking the same type of career she achieved through hard work, persistence,
and taking advantage of any luck that came her way. No wonder Whitney has been
viewed not only as a grand master of the craft, but also a great supporter of
the profession. She’s an incredible role model.

Have you
found the “perfect” method? Are you willing to share it? Who’s your role model?

The Meaning of Life by Debra H. Goldstein

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The Meaning of Life by Debra H. Goldstein
Recently I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the meaning of life and its other alternative. This isn’t a new topic for me to explore. I first started thinking about it shortly after my fiftieth birthday when I woke one morning to find my arms had turned to flab and I had become my mother. The thoughts were generated by a discussion with a friend who was in the last stages of cancer. She was questioning what purpose living in her debilitated state had and whether after we die, we are remembered or the life we lived fades away.
I couldn’t answer her questions. I was too focused on reaching outside my comfort zone to find ways to ease her journey. When she died, I decided her purpose was the seed of herself planted in others through charitable doing, mentoring, and touching people at the right time. Her nourishment of others left ideas, feelings, and values to reseed the next generation.
Time went on and I didn’t spend much time dwelling on the meaning of life. I was too busy enjoying the life cycle events that constantly were occurring in the lives of my friends and my own family. Trips to visit and cuddle new babies, writing events, the coming of age Bar Mitzvah ceremony of a nephew, graduations from pre-school through professional school, and the joy of watching my daughter walk down the aisle to be with the man she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with consumed my waking hours. Why dwell on life and death when so many things were going on?
I was attending a writer’s conference being held on a property in Disneyworld when I glanced down at my smartphone and noticed an email entitled “OMG.” Above “OMG” was an endless string of responding e-mails. A friend who was a wife, mother, respected professional, devoted kayaker, and person who was taking me out for a birthday lunch the next week had had a cerebral bleed and died within minutes the night before. Everyone, including me, was in shock that this young and healthy vibrant woman was gone. No “why” made sense.
My other friends and I went on living. At one of the other planned lunch celebrations for my birthday, one of our lunch bunch mentioned she was celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary. Knowing she had married a much older man and that part of his proposal had been he would be hers for at least twenty-five years, we asked what he had given her for their special anniversary. The answer: the promise of trying for another twenty-five years as wonderful as the first. Last week, our lunch bunch held our breath when this man who never gets sick was hospitalized with pneumonia and a low blood count. We all feared he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. Happily, his positive response to medical treatment has given them the opportunity to share many more years together.
In Jewish tradition, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it is decided who shall live and who shall die. At the time of Yom Kippur, one’s fate hopefully is inscribed in the book of life. I don’t know how or why the final decision is made. I cannot venture a guess as to our true purpose in living or if there is an existential meaning of life, but I do know I value every moment of it that I share with my family, friends, and those individuals I will meet in the future.
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P.S.  I try to keep my personal blog “It’s Not Always a Mystery” – http://debrahgoldstein.wordpress.com or found through my website, www.DebraHGoldstein.com by clicking DHG’s Blog – separate from what I post on The Stiletto Gang, but the reaction to the recent posting of The Meaning of Life convinced me that it might be an interesting piece to share The Stiletto Gang’s readers, too.  After all, we are all searching for The Meaning of Life. I look forward to hearing your personal reactions to this post.  Debra